Friday Late..August 31st

Now we have a forest fire to the west of us to be concerned about.....it was as a result of lightning last night......and is just north of where we went yesterday with our Florida friends. It is still a ways from Sisters, but the smell of smoke is thick in the air...and in the house.

Linda wasn't feeling well tonight...and ate soft foods for dinner...and very little. Her esophagus is feeling raw as a result of the week's radiation. The acid reflux is back as a result of her laying off the Prevacid......so the two don't do well together....hopefully tomorrow , having gone back on the Prevacid, there will be some relief. She went to bed early and is sleeping.

We plan on laying low this weekend and getting a lot of rest.

Dave

Friday Afternoon...August 31st

Today Linda did her 16th day of radiation...4 more weeks to go.

Tuesday the medical oncologist decides whether to begin chemo again (2nd cycle) or wait a week.

We met with the radiology oncologist today.....he indicated everything was progressing well from what he is observing. He did explain that one's "frame of mind" has to be adjusted when considering cancer. He explained it like putting weed killer on a weed....one doesn't see the weed die as soon as the killer is put on it...it doesn't happen in minutes..it takes days.....in terms of cancer it takes weeks and months to know how things are turing out.

He indicated that it will be weeks after the end of the radiation to see how things are going in terms of the radiation (he doesn't speak in terms of the chemo). He said the radiation either causes the cancer sells to give up trying to multiply and/or divide in such a way that they "commit suicide"....

Linda's radiology nurse believes the headaches are sinus caused...Linda will consult with the chemo folks next week for some special medication to address the headaches and sinuses. Linda found backing off the prevacid caused the heartburn to return so she is back on it but in reduced amounts. It's all about "fine tuning".

Dave

Thursday Evening...August 30th

Today was somewhat like yesterday...Linda was in good spirits the entire day though....radiation day 15 of 35.

With friends Kim and Ernie, we took a short trip to the top of McKenzie Pass which is close to our home.....what an amazing place to visit...when Linda initially knew she was in trouble healthwise, she wanted to go here...to breathe the fresh air and see the beauty of the surrounding mountains.....and to return to the same place today was uplifting to her.

In the afternoon, as Linda napped, we went to Camp Sherman which should be a national park....it is so beautiful....to see a river come out of the earth...seemingly from no where....the Metolius River....to see huge rainbow trout rolling in the current.....to see huge ponderosa pines, douglas firs...tamaracks....it doesn't get any better.

Linda had a low grade headache today..she is starting to believe there is a connection between the medicine and the head......the trade off is heartburn....so she lives with a headache.....or heartburn...or looks for another solution...which is our preference.

Dave

Wednesday Evening...August 29th

Today was much like yesterday....radiation session number 14 of 35....headache pretty miserable.

Linda is trying to ascertain if the headache is being caused by a medication..perhaps the prilosec or prevacid..so she is laying off of them for a day or two to see if there is a connection.

Friends Ernie and Kim of Florida are visiting for a couple of days and Ernie is playing on his guitar some soothing tunes......Linda is exhibiting some good energy but it looks like bedtime is approaching soon.

Dave

Tuesday Evening...August 28th

Day 13 of Radiation (of 35)...

Day 13 was most unlucky for Linda...she continues with the headache and then got a stiff neck from sleeping (napping) in the wrong position....other things bother her but they take second position to the neck and head.

Linda is finding the difference between courage and fear is not very much....so she swings back and forth between the two...quite natural for what she is experiencing....she tries to put forth a brave face but the fear is always there.

Tomorrow is another day of radiation....day 14.

Dave

Monday evening...August 27th

Tonight we are back to the reality of cancer treatment.....the last few days have seemed somewhat normal because of the "break" from the radiation and chemo....with the return to radiation....the effects are also back....which we had forgotten in the moment.

It is sad to see Linda not feeling well again and wanting the last few days back...and then again, this is the route to the cure.....we understand that and it was still unsettling tonight.

Tomorrow is day 13 of 35 for the radiation.....we know we will settle back into that new "normal".....it's time to get on with it...it's what we want...

Dave

Monday Afternoon...August 27th

Today Linda got Radiation session #12 (out of 35) finished...it had been a week since her last session. She continues to feel good except for the headache. they want to see if it "washes out" by the end of the week. If not, they they will do another brain scan (which was clean last time).

They told Linda today that the chemo cyele number 2 would most likely not start on the 4th as planned but rather a week later. She sees the medical oncologist on the 4th so a final decision will be made at that time.

Linda continues to gain (yes, I said gain)weight..she is up 3 pounds from her "normal" weight and up 5 pounds from her per treatment weight. They are impressed. Her appetite will most likely drop as the treatments continue. As I mentioned yesterday, we had dinner at the neighbors across the creek last night...Linda ate a normal meal and ate ALL of it...corn on the cob...rice...etc etc. She "cleaned up"!

The rumor is that a bald picture will be posted in the near future....

Dave

Sunday Evening...August 26th

Linda had a pretty good day today with the exception of the nagging headache...she worries now that the medications provided for the headache are providing sicklike symptoms.

Anyway, we are headed to dinner across the creek with neighbors.....YES.....we are driving rather than wading the creek (which would have been our OLD normal)!

Brother Marlin and sister in law Joni spend much of the day which was delightful. They then left to spend the rest of the week fishing and camping on Prineville Resevoir....about 50 miles east of here.

Tomorrow..back to the task at hand.

Dave

Saturday Evening...August 25th

Good day today...Linda was in good spirits and good shape...a headache continues but the new medication for her heartburn seems to be the trick......

Linda's brother Marlin and sister in law Joni came over from the valley and were a "plus" to Linda's day....they were unsure at what they would get in terms of Linda...but were pleasantly surprised at how well she was doing today.....

We hope for a good day tomorrow but wish for the treatments to resume so the cancer can be eradicated.

Dave

Friday Evening (Second Post)...August 24th

This picture of daughter Janine...granddaughter Jillian...dog Sadie...and Linda was taken last week .

I forgot to mention in the first post of the evening that Linda has been put on Prevacid for her gastro problems..this is the same medication I have been taking daily for years with great results..hope it works for her also..as the acid condition is a distraction from her other things going on.

Friday Evening...August 24th

Today was a "swing day"......it started with Linda having pretty bad gastric problems..which have nagged her all the way along.....that over the counter stuff just doesn't do it...Linda also had a sore rear end as her "butt bones" hurt (remember the "booster shot")

Anyway, we went to the Clinic....did a blood test.....went over to the hospital for the radiation remapping (no radiation of course)......and then back to the Clinic to review the blood test and determine next steps....

The good news! Linda's white blood count is heading back up....they are shooting for a reading of at least 4+..she has a 2.4 today which will keep moving up....so Monday radiation is back in the mix. Her count was less than 1 (.7) yesterday....a bit over two weeks ago it was 6.7! They gave her another "booster shot" today to help the count get back where it belongs.

Now we don't have to worry about infections brought on by contact with other people, etc. etc.

Linda also picked out a cute knit hat to keep her head warm ..they are made by the Assistance League of Bend to help folks with cancer. It wasn't long ago that Linda was with the same League and made her share of hats and knitted blankets for cancer patients.

So Linda is remapped and ready to rebegin radiation on Monday.

We did learn that these "starts" and "stops" are not unusual and will not negativity affect the ultimate outcome....Linda continues to be concerned though as she has her sights on that wedding in Mexico in October.

That's about the news for the day...Linda's brother Marlin and sister in law Joni come tomorrow to visit.

Dave

Thursday Evening....August 23rd

This picture was taken this afternoon.....the hat is the "new" look as the hair is coming out.

Tonight we shaved off what was left..actually quite a lot....so now Miz Linda is bald....kind of looks cool..but she's not ready to show the world yet.

Today Linda has suffered from the gastric stuff again......upset and sore.

That's about it for the day....

Dave

Thursday Afternoon....August 23rd

Where do I start? This will sound like a report.....and that's the best way I'll do it.

1. Linda went in for another blood test...her white blood cell count is still too low to restart radiation..so that is cancelled tomorrow..we still might be going in for the "remapping"...we've yet to hear.

2. Linda received a shot to "push start" the white cell production by the marrow...she will get another tomorrow and maybe Saturday....this can cause "bone pain"....but hopefully will get the immune system back up. She has headaches and has medications ofr it which is the same medication for the bone aches.

3. A comment on the "magic mouthwash"..we found out today that the drug mixture Linda is taking for her esopogittis is infact this same medication...she has been "squirting it to the back of her mouth before eating so her tongue doesn't become paralyzed...we learned today that if the mouth sores increase with a yeast infection at the same time...then the medication is used as a mouth wash also. Now she is using the steroid Kenalog in Orabase to deal with the mouth sores (cankers)..this is good till there is yeast and then they deal with that and back off the Kenalog (whew..got all that out).

4. Linda was lightheaded after the blood test...and very unstable...they figured it was in reaction to the "blood let"...this has not happened before....she was fine after drinking some water and lying down.

5. Linda is up 2 and a half pounds....so we are redesigning her meals, etc to maintain but not lose weight.

6. With the risk of infection high, Linda has to watch for sick folks around her..wash her hands frequently and continue on the antibiotics...She has to report immediately any fever, chills and infections.

7. The shot Linda received to boost the start of the white blood cell production was given in the belly area....it is given under the skin..a new nurse gave it...she is called the "dart lady"..watching her give the shot answers quickly why she is called that!

That's about what I remember...we reviewed all the medications Linda is taking with the nurse today....how one could do all this by themselves is beyond us, we agreed.

I forgot...Linda got up today and when looking in the mirror, noticed a bunch of her hair higher than the surrounding hair....it was a clump that was no longer attached to her head...a significant clump.....after showering she also had a towel full of hair....so it's started and tonight we will remove all the "healthy" hair so she won't go through it in "bits and pieces".

That's about it...tomight I'll have Linda reporting in..she is napping at the moment. She has what I will describe as a wonderful attitude for what she is going through right now.....

Dave

Wednesday Night...August 22nd

She's Back!

After a good nap and a good dinner...Linda's back.

"I've shed enough tears to last a few days" she said.

It looks like over exertion yesterday, along with not enough sleep (including naps) and the enormity of the situation ganged up on her.

Tonight Linda did 4 crossword puzzles to keep her mind sharp.....bed will come early.

Dave

Wednesday Afternoon...August 22nd

What a difference a day makes......didn't I say that yesterday?

Linda is "in the pits" today...I think it is because she overdid it yesterday....and she also has started stomatitus ......which are sores in the mouth from the radiation....this is in addition to the esopagitis which is the inflammation of the esophagus.

These conditions were predicted but yet they add up....one more thing for Linda to deal with......she is very emotional....brought on by the fatigue and the symptoms she is suffering.

Anyway, Linda is now committed to more rest and a bit less activity.....I must say I don't blame her for wanting to be active when she feel s bit better...it is her nature to be active. I also don't blame her for being emotional....this is a tough situation for her to bear up under.....and I support her in any state she is in.

Tomorrow is the blood test to see if radiation can be resumed Friday.

On TV today there was a concert by Trisha Yearwood that had a song that brought tears to both our eyes...and it was a reminder of the same song at the Oregon Jamboree by her...it goes in part like this (it's called How Do I? ):

How do I
Get through one night without you
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be?
Oh I need you in my arms
Need you to hold
Your my world my heart my soul


Without you
There'd be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There would be no world left for me
And I
Baby I don't know what I would do
I would be lost if I lost you

Very powerful words.........

Dave

ps..Linda just got up from her nap..took her a long time to get to sleep and she does feel a bit more rested...

Tuesday Evening.....August 21st

What a difference a day makes......

No radiation today....no chemo today...no doctor trip today....

Linda has been active all day long...I can't hold her down.......she is feeling better...still like "c***" but better.....she got on the treadmill today...did 20 minutes...and some weights....ate a good breakfast...and then some more....and then some more.

Linda's day has been a good one...she is cleaning...eating....no nap.....she sums it up..."more energy" and "Dave kept stuffing food down me" and "I probably overdid it today".

Dave

Monday Evening...August 20th

First thing first...here's the "sassie woman" in her new wig....it's called a "cranial prothesis"...not bad...huh? The pictures below were taken just before Linda began treatments...at the Oregon Jamboree with Trish Yearwood....we had a great time....nice time before the treatments began.

Today Linda went for her radiation treatment...no more chemo for another two plus weeks. After the radiation treatment (number 11 of 35), the technicians told her they were doing a scan to determine if the radiation field could be reduced....the short version is that in fact the tumor has shrunk so the field will be reduced..it takes two days to do that so no more radiation till that is done....AND THEN.....

.

And then we went over to the medical oncology to meet with the nurse practitioner...she had a blood test done...initial results showed Linda is Neutropenic. We understand that means her immune system is down and she is dehydrated...we are going to look that term up later ....anyway with the things the way they are, they don't want radiation till things look up....later we found out that Linda can resume radiation on Friday at the earliest.

.

We expressed concerns as we have a couples workshop coming at the end of the radiation treatments..but that appears to be gone as the radiation will still be occuring with the delays.

.

Linda expressed concerns about the wedding of son Jim and Jenn in Mexico following the radiation treatments....the nurse practitioner assured her they would "fluff" her up and "buff" her...ie, provide blood transfusions...hydration...antibiotics...etc...etc.. She indicated Linda would most likely be in a wheel chair and pretty "beat up" but she'd make it.

.

Linda is now on heavy doses of antibiotics for the rest of this week. She is also still suffering from the effects of the radiation on her esophagus...they did give her some medication to paralyze her throat just before eating ...to ease the pain....we tried it tonight...Linda wasn't very impressed.

.

Today we bought a lot of gateraide....slimfast...ensure....smoothie....juices...ice cream...etc...etc..to keep her calories up....she also got some of the pills she takes for calcium, joints, vitamins, etc. in liquid form to ease the ingestion.

.

So a day off tomorrow and Wednesday...Thursday, Linda goes in for another blood test to see if she can resume treatments on Friday....

.

It was nice to be home....lots of dishes to do and house cleaning...and the RV needed cleaning too..so not much sitting around...and I'm a bit beat from the seminar just completed..tomorrow should be a bit easier.

.

Dave

Sunday....Late PM....August 19th

I got home tonight...a quick run in the motorhome up and over the pass.

I'm with my sweetie....she looks good in the new wig....and healthy except for the fatigue and esophagittus....soreness in the throat caused by the radiation....tomorrow we have another radiation session followed by a visit with the medical oncologist (but no chemo)...one of them should be able to provide the needed relief for the throat...the medication Linda is now on doesn't do the trick.

Nice..very nice to be back home..thanks to the care givers....thanks...thanks

Dave

Saturday..Evening...August 18th

Linda asked that I do the Blog..even though I'm still in Eugene...she isn't feeling very well.

Linda reports that she is starting to feel the effects of the radiation on her body..everything to this point has been chemo related..but now she can start to feel the effects of the radiation...in her energy...in her voice..in her throat...etc....

She continues to eat...so that's good..but she is feeling the body react.

Linda has her good friend Mary today visiting...good news...and daughter Janine continues to be her caretaker til I return tomorrow night...Granddaughter Jillian continues to be a delight for her.

I am finishing the Wings Seminars advanced Crossover seminar tomorrow......it has given me many tools to use in the months ahead....this is the seminar that Linda ranks at the top of her life experiences....it gave her what she has in her life for strength, truth, courage, etc. etc.

I told this Blog in early July the life long CONTRACT she gave herself in 1988 in the Crossover Seminar: I AM AN OPEN, POWERFUL AND COURAGEOUS WOMAN.....to which I believe we all agree....this CONTRACT will serve her well through this cancer and will be her guide to an ultimate cure....she believes it..so do I. Linda is an incredible woman, living this contract each day of her life.

Tomorrow night I get home to support my loving bride (I still do call her my "bride"..even after 28 years)...we are more in love every day.

Dave

Friday Evening, Aug. 17, 2007

Last radiation for the week. I could use a weekend off. On Monday, after the radiation, they will do a scan to check the progress, and if it has changed much, will make a new template to work from. I would not go in for a couple days while they make the change in plan.

I have felt nauseous most of the day, but I did have one highlight. I purchased a wig with Janine and Jillian's help. It's quite sassy with blond highlights (Sorry, Dave, not red). That's what happens when he takes off at such an important occasion. I sure do miss him, though. Maybe that's why I feeling blue.

Then to top it all off, dog Sadie decides to get a bladder infection, so we spent over an hour and $200.00 at the vet. She has to go back on Monday for a series of tests.

I look forward to friend Mary coming tomorrow. What a reunion that will be! I'd better get a good nights rest, so I'm ready. Until then.....

Love and Gratitude......Linda

Thursday Evening, Aug. 16, 2007

Today seemed like a very long day. The steroids they gave me with my chemo yesterday kept me up all night. I took Vicadin for a headache, Ambien to help me sleep and 2 PMs to help me sleep, and still I roamed the house, read, counted backwards from 100 at least a 100 times, did relaxation techniques, listened to soft music and still watched the clock until after 3:00 in the morning. Sadie the dog woke me up at 6:00, giving me three hours sleep. Not fun!

I was hoping to go wig shopping today, but definitely no energy for that. I did my radiation, though, and had my visit with the dermatologist which was a good visit with nothing to be concerned about.

My brain is hardly functioning right now, it's so tired, so think I'll call it quits. I'm so full of love and gratitude for all of you that my heart is too filled with love to feel too bad. It really helps get me through each day. You'll never know what a big part you are playing in my recovery.

Love and gratitude.....Linda

Wednesday Evening....August 15th

These pictures came from Linda to me tonight..so I'm sharing them...they must have been taken last night....Son Jim..granddaughter Jillian, "Sadie the lady" and the lady of the hour..."Miss Linda"...pretty good for someone going through what she is going through...great spirit..great determination..great belief in her personal powers...

She was given the "BELIEVE" and cherishes it as it represents what she is all about...."believing".

The new "hair doo" is a bit obscured by the bandana..perhaps we'll get another soon....

Dave

Late Afternoon, Aug. 15, 2007

I've heard a lot of requests for pictures of my new "do", but I'm not ready yet. I look in the mirror and think I'm looking at son Jim. I've lost my femininity! I'll play with the idea for a few days yet. Maybe by the time Dave gets home, I'll let him take a pic and post it. I'm not promising anything, tho. I think it's time to go wig shopping. Maybe I should post pictures of me in different colors and you can have a vote!

For today being the ugliest of all chemo days, I feel remarkably well. I rested a lot during the three and 1/2 hours I was being infused, so that helped. Son Jeff visited for a while and grand-daughter Jillian and her mom, Julie, also. I've also become buds with most of the nurses, too, which helps to pass the time.

You guys are getting more wordy in your comments, I love it! If there is a day where there are few to read, I go back and reread some of the older ones. Don't know what I'd do without our online relationship. Thanks again ever so much.

Love and gratitude........Linda

Wednesday..Early Afternoon....August 15th

Talked to Linda many times by phone today...last call she was heading home ....and FEELING GOOD...I think having other folks with her gives her GOOD energy...she also has been briefed on preventing the nausea expected this time..so my fingers are crossed for her.....

Remember I blew it when thinking my seminar was next week? (see below)..WELL..the facilitator didn't show.....she is in San Diego...she thought also it was next week...I believe we both got an early tentative schedule that changed when it went to final form...DUH!..anyway she is flying in during the night we hope and we will be doing a 5 day seminar in 4 days....

Anyway good for Linda and her uplifted spirit and determination.

Dave

Tuesday..Really Late...August 15th

Ended up in a Wing's Seminar a week before I thought it was to start...what a shock....but this is a very important seminar in terms of setting my commitments, intentions, behaviors, etc etc with what is facing me in this new future...

Linda is well taken care of...Jim today and Julie tonight , tomorrow and the next day...and I'm checking in constantly.

The good news is Linda got her hydration again today and her creatinine was 1.1...which is normal..it had risen to 1.4 which raised the alarms yesterday. so tomorrow she gets the last of the chemo..the nasty one....it is somewhat strange to wish so hard for something so nasty to the body..but Linda is committed to the cure..and this chemo is the "ticket". Now if we can apply what we've learned about nausea from last week..maybe it will be eaiser this round.

More tomorrow....

Dave

ps...the work I do with Wings Seminars can be found at http://www.wings-seminars.com/ Linda and I highly recommend it..we've been involved in the program for almost 20 years...Linda and I will be working with the couples seminar next month.

pss...the rumor is that Linda got her hair cut very short today and it is "spiked".....I believe to be a fact and not a rumor......they said that of all the side effects in cancer treatment ...the most impactful is the loss of hair...it is true.

Monday...Late.....August 13th

What a day it was..we couldn't have anticipated this one...

Linda woke up with a blood pressure of 72 over 54....which means her blood was barely pumping....

When we got to radiation, she didn't come back out per usual..when I went back they told me they were concerned about how she looked and the blood pressue and were talking to the nurse practitioner over in the chemo at the Clinic.

We ended up over there and they did a blood test and found the blood counts were ok but her creatinine was elevated (a sign her kidneys weren't fully functioning)....this was a concern from the beginning but now was showing up.

The end result was no chemo but rather hydration by IV only.....and the same tomorrow....maybe Wednesday they will do the last chemo session of the first cycle...Linda needs to get hydrated and also have the creatinine level go down.

And then.....

I found out the 5 day seminar I was assisting with, that was scheduled for next week was starting tomorrow. In the midst of all of this crisis..I got the week wrong. Daughter Janine was all set to come next week and work through the radiation (no chemo) with her Mom, etc etc.

But now ...I was in a panic...Cool headed Linda said it would all work...and with some calls..it did....we have her covered the entire week..and all know what to do and when...so a potential disaster was avoided....

Linda is feeling much better this evening..we also found out that the heart burn was due to the radiation on the esophygous..and with an increase in medication...the impact should be reduced....her blood pressure is 99 over 77...she doesn't look like a zoombie.

Sons Jim and Jeff were here today..Jim is staying over and taking his Mother to her appointments tomorrow..Granddaughter Jillian is here for the week to support her grandmother...Jillian's Mom, Julie, is coming over to be with Linda Wednesday and Thursday and daughter Janine is coming Thursday night for the rest of the week and weekend. Linda's friend, Mary is coming for the weekend as an added bonus....so it is all covered...

Enough said...I'm tired..off to bed

Dave

PS..more on creatinine at http://www.answers.com/topic/creatinine-blood-test?cat=health

Sunday...Late....August 12th

Linda describes her day as tough...she has heartburn tonight and a gut ache today....maybe directly related ..who knows..we will sure check it out with the medical persons tomorrow.

Tomorrow is a full day....radiation followed by a visit with the medical oncologist or nurse practitioner...and then 4 hours of chemo...including the hydration needed with this chemo..

Then approximately three weeks off chemo...radiation only.

Dave

Sunday...Late Afternoon...August 12th

Today is a slooowwwww day..not much new to report.

I was reminded today that Linda and I wrote "love letters" to each other last Valentine's Day...instead of buying cards and candy......and this followed an incident that happened shortly before that time where Linda had gotten up during the night and had fallen ....hitting her head and ...and....and. The net result was a trip by ambulance...a night at the hospital...and fear of losing a love one.

Anyway...the letter I wrote:

My Love Letter to Linda

The other night when you were fainting and hurt...it crossed my mind that there might be life without you...it was a most frightening thought as we are so much interlinked together.

We should and will live in the present for what time we have and my commitment is to continue to work to be in the moment...as I can't see myself wanting to be by myself...or with another "wild woman"...

I love you and always will...this is the end of my love letter but not my love for you.

I love you.

Dave

This , I found, today...how much it fits the "new moment" we are in...

Dave

Saturday Eveneing...August 11th

Today was a strange day.....

No appointments..no chemo..no radiation....no major side effects today.

We took a walk to town to pick up the new prescriptions for Linda's headaches...which they now attribute to the chemo...

What did we do....nothing...we both slept a lot..resting from a busy and uncertain week behind us.

Linda is actually reading again...which she normally does a lot of..but not this past week.

Daughter Janine comes back again tomorrow and then Son Jim and granddaughter Jillian on Monday (Jillian for the week).

Tomorrow is CHAMP CAR DAY!...SUNDAY NOON....ABC

Dave

Friday..EARLY EARLY EVENING......August 10th

Not a bad day today....after Linda losing three hours of sleep during the night. She actually slept during her chemo session today. The good news is that she finished with the one chemical (after 5 straight days) and Monday she has the second dose of the nasty one (with 2 hours of hydration)..then three weeks off (with radiation alone).

Daughter Janine is visiting today and then comes back Sunday....Son Jim and granddaughter Jillian come Monday.....Jillian stays for a full week.

After the radiation session, we met with the Radiation Oncologist. We meet with him every Friday after the radiation session. We meet with the Medical Oncologist on Mondays (or Nurse Practitioner). Today we learned a lot about how the radiation works (in messing up the DNA of the cancer cells so when they divide they die). We learned about what is done after the chemo and radiation to see if Linda remains cancer free (no cough...pain...etc..etc in the body which are indicators.....no signs through examination by the Doctor and no signs on scans)..we learned what it means to be cancer free for two years and five years. We learned a bit about what happens if the cancer returns and where it can show up and why.

The Doctor is very impressed with Linda's resolve...he believes she is a winner and has beat the cancer however this turns out and even asked her for a hug.

Linda continues to be fatigued and balances the energy she has available. She is in good spirits.

Linda ate good yesterday and continues to eat good today.

Dave

Friday....VERY EARLY....August 10th

Linda was unable to sleep...woke up early in the night....banging around the house...so I'm now up....it's the steroids most likely. She's listening to soft music as I do this...

Dave

Saw on the google news that a plane went down off Moorea and Tahiti with all lost....I was struck by this as we have taken that same flight several times over the years...

Thursday...Evening...August 9th

Today was a much different day from those of this week so far..it actually went pretty smoothly. Linda says she thought of "acceptance" as her word of the day and focus. Acceptance of where she is and what is ahead for her.

During the radiation session, we reviewed lotions and such with the folks at the Center..we've been getting lots of advice and wanted to know what was the best route etc.. We also met breifly with the dietician and got some advice there too.

Son, Jeff sat with Linda during the chemo session as Dave went over to the dermatologist (Linda goes next week). The chemo went pretty well.....we seem to have a handle on the nausea and vomiting..although tomorrow we go back on another drug regimen for the same....we shall see what that all brings. We asked about the headaches and they want Linda to keep on the medication the druggist recommended...although not much relief yet.

CRF (Chemo Related Fatigue) is still present but Linda clearly understands how it works...."energy collected in the "bank" and then so much to spend".

We went shopping today for more foods Linda will eat..so far Linda is a "+2" ie., she is up two pounds from her normal weight..so far so good.

Friends stopped by and brought homemade soup and salad...and it was sooooo good. Nice to eat something this "amateur" hasn't concocted. Linda ate a good dinner also...she actually has eaten well today.

The same friends gave Linda a book entitled "There's No Place Like Hope....A Guide To beating Cancer In Mind-Sized Bites". It is a great book with plenty of help in small pieces....an example........"We don't always get to choose which obstacles we face in life, but from the moment we were given free will it has always been our choice in how we deal with them".

Linda is doing her crossword puzzles..they tell her it is a great way to combat "chemo brain" which comes about from all the chemotherapy.

Dave

We're thinking of John and Marilyn (our replacements), all the fans and drivers and Champ Car folks in Road America for this weekend's Champ Car race (ABC Noon Pacific Time Sunday)....Linda wore her Pacific Coast Motorsports vest to chemo today...folks were plenty impressed with the signatures and written good words from drivers Mario and Alex. Thank you again to Katie and Tyler for your kind thoughts and actions. Good luck to all this weekend.

And for the readers of this Blog....watch this Sunday's race to see why we get excited about Champ Car!

Wednesday...Evening.....August 8th

I'm beginning to understand the term "the new norm", and there have been some new ones this week. Every day has hit me with a whammy, and I'm doing my best to accept each as it comes along. I feel like I have a real bad case of the flu, or am in Mexico with Montezuma revenge! The difference is, flu and other maladies go away in a week or so. I must accept that this illness is going to be with me until the end of the year in one extreme or another. Luckily, there are breaks between the chemo sessions; three more days of this one. That gives me a light at the end of the tunnel with a reprieve before the next one starts.

I've had my moments of weakness and literally wanting to crawl in a hole until it's over. Luckily, those moments are self destructive and don't last long. I switch my "frequency" to a more positive one and I'm back of the right tract. Reading all your comments is always a sure way to find the right "frequency".

You never fail to keep your faith in me and that helps a whole lot.

Love and Gratitude.....Linda

Wednesday...Afternoon....August 8th

Day 3...the "beautiful day"

A tough night last night....getting the systems to work right with all of this chemo and radiation is difficult (I won't describe all the details).....Linda lost a lot of sleep.

Today's chemo session and radiation went pretty well....son Jeff dropped by during the chemo session and visited..he will be back tomorrow when I am at the Dermatologist during the chemo session.

Linda was acting a bit (well more than a bit) out of it today..we thought it was the loss of sleep last night..but it is CRF (Chemo Related Fatigue)...we spent a lot of time reading about it today and discussing its impacts on her health and journey. Basically the body is where energy goes in through food and exercise and mental well being and then an amount goes back out through activity, etc. If one doesn't want to eat, exercise or challenge the brain..there is no energy to give out...So Linda ate a good lunch (and kept it down) and is sleeping for 2 hours...she is then going for a short walk and then engaging in some mental activity such as crossword puzzles, etc. It is a lot of mentally winning in this situation.

So..if we keep the nausea and vomiting out of the picture...keep the body in balance (we think we have that one on the way to a fix).....and the CRF under control...we'll be ready for the next thing thrown at her....

The dietician is calling tonight..we're trying to get it right as to what she should be eating and what not...she is up 2 pounds so that's the good news. We also will be consulting with the clinic dietician to get her input.

I forgot to mention Linda got a complementary foot massage today during chemo..it is a free service at certain times during the week.....the woman was so nice and bright eyed and cheerful..it was a definite plus.

Dave

Tuesday PM......August 7th

More sleep...a short walk...more upchuck...tears...more pills...a bit of dinner...more pills...more tears...things seem to be holding together.

A dinner of soft scambled eggs and tapioca pudding with gadorade seems to do the trick...what a short order chef I've become.

We've mapped out all the medications on a computer sheet so we can make sure all is handled well.

Linda's spending some time on the phone this evening..so that's good....a bit of laughter can be heard once in a while.

Linda's summary: "chalk this up to an ugly day...tomorrow will be a beautiful one"

Dave

Tuesday AM......August 7th

"The you know what hit the fan on Day 2"

Linda felt good last night and we went to dinner with friends..she actually ate well, which was good.

And then.......

And then she woke up about 3:30 am..wired.....which we had been warned about because of the steroids....We went through the new medicines and got the one that was supposed to relax her and lower anxiety and..and.

Within 15 minutes she was sleeping like a rock.

I did breakfast for her and our guests..Linda took one look at it and "upchucked" everything in her system...and we were "off to the races" in other words we were now chasing nausea and vomiting and not able to get ahead of it. Linda threw up all the way into the radiation session and before the chemo treatment.

At the start of chemo they give her nausea medication and steroids through the vein..then the cancer medicine. This calmed her down for the session..but it came back again on the way home. One thing they had done at the infusion session was alter the way the medicines were to be given...it might not seem like much but we are dealing with a whole lot of medicines at one time (so much so we are going to log when each medicine is given , etc so there is no confusion).

I also went to the local druggist who had offered his support at the start of this and got some great help...and more medicines for headache....etc..etc.

So where are we? Linda is sleeping..has about 2 hours of sleep this afternoon and more on the way...the medicines have all been given..she actually drank a smoothie and kept it down. Maybe we are getting ahead of the situation rather than chasing it....as we talked about it in the infusion room this morning...it was amazing to see how many patients were nodding their heads..a lot of wisdom and experience in that room....all on a cancer journey of some type.

Keep the comment section hereunder going..Linda reads it every day..for some reason it has become very important to her...I might even start dropping some comments too!

Dave

Monday PM.....August 6th

Today was DAY 1!

We arrived at the Infusion Room at the Bend Memorial Clinic.....14 lounge type chairs....with hook ups for IV's. Linda sat in one of the chairs and immediately the nurses started preping her.....you could see the tears well up in her eyes as she realized that this was it..reality was smacking her in the face pretty hard......and then as she said...."buck up!"..this is the way for the cure...a positive spin on things rather than a negative.

Linda was given the liquids through the IV in the back of her hand....one hour of hydration followed by one hour of the nastiest medicine...then back to an hour of hydration...

Linda then was disconnected and left to do her radiation treatment....so we walked over to the hospital to the Cancer Treatment Center.....there they redid some Xrays to make sure everything was the way it was supposed to be....and then about 15 minutes in radiation....each time the machine made its sound Linda said internally "come kill those bastards"...later she referred to her experience as a "packman" game......with the packman gobbling up the bad guys.

Then back to the Infusion Room for the last hour of chemo..the second drug.

Linda was briefed on nausea and given prescriptions for three (yes three) medications for nausea. Is that a clue as to what's to come?

In all, I was amazed at how well Linda "weathered" the experience..how good she looked..and even tonight as she tired..she still looked strong.....she reminds herself.."attitude".."diet" and "exercise"..the keys.

I won't go through the schedule of things to come..it is too extensive and complicated..but we have a handle on it ...tomorrow is radiation for 15 minutes followed by chemo of two hours (the lesser evil chemical only.)..this will be the schedule though Friday.....

My hat is off to Linda..a strong..committed woman...going through a difficult time..with a firm resolve and intention.

Dave

Sunday PM...August 5th

Home from the Oregon Jamboree...we had a good time..as Linda described it "my (her) last hurrah"....Trisha Yearwood was the best...Lorri Morgan.....second best.

Tomorrow Linda's chemo starts at 8 am at the Bend Memorial Clinic...it is a total of 5 and a half hours because of the hydration needed after the chemical cocktail.The following 4 days will be an hour and a half and then the last day of the cycle again will be 5 and a half hours.

More than likely she will have to leave the Clinic tomorrow for the Hospital to do her radiation at 12:45 and then return to finish.The radiation session lasts an hour the first time and then much shorter after that first session.

I'm also doing my 7 week checkup on my rotator surgery tomorrow and if all is ok, I will begin weight strengthening....for another 7 weeks. The Orthopedic Center is in the middle of the Hosptial and the Clinic so we should have a great time running back and forth between buildings tomorrow.

Linda remains upbeat and ready to get on with it....she did get rest this last few days and her blood pressure has stabilized...which are important to her overall health. She is contuing to exhibit "reflux type" symptoms....so it will be nice to get her into the internist to get that figure out...she also has an appointment with the dematologist this week for a skin condition.....what a week it will be....

Dave

Friday AM..August 3rd

This morning we head to the Oregon Jamboree and friends we see only once a year. Email might be sparse or non existant this weekend.

It's a very nice morning here in Western Oregon...we're among giant Douglas firs which cover the area for miles.

Linda is doing well this am...little coughing....she is getting good vibes from people around her...which gives her strength...

The good news is that this year we bought reserved tickets for the Jamboree rather than general admission where one competes for the best seating areas...must have been part of the "pre planning" we were then unaware of but doing.

Have a good day for Linda!

Dave

Thursday PM....August 2nd

I just want to say again how grateful and humbled I am by all the support I feel from each and every one of you. Some days I feel like I don't deserve it, because I still let myself feel low and in fear of what is ahead of me. On those days, even your cheery words don't seem to reach me. I'm really working on getting control again of my health and well being. I have a talk with myself when I get up in the morning and tell myself how well I feel and how grateful I am for everything in my life. Someday I hope I can say I am really grateful for the cancer I HAD.

Tomorrow we take our coach to the Jamboree to enjoy the last three days of life before treatment. It will be a fun time for both of us, and I'll make sure to get plenty of rest so that I am ready for the big day on Monday.

Thanks for hanging in here with me. It's hard to imagine having to go through this without you.

Love and gratitude.....Linda

Thursday...AM...August 2nd

Some "Linda Shots" from San Jose


Linda with driver Christiano DeMatta who was severely injured last year in testing at Road America...they BOTH look good!
Linda with Mark Easley..who is EASILY one of our friends (Get it?)
On track in San Jose
There's that Easley guy again..I'm gonna have to keep an eye on him!
Public Relations Katie Brannan and Team Owner Tyler Tadevic presenting Linda with a driver signed vest from Pacific Coast Motorsports (unbelieveably great folks!)

Wednesday PM..August 1st

The way we've calculated things...Linda's radiation begins on the 6th of August and continues for 7 weeks and is completed on September 21st. Chemo begins on the 6th of August and Cycle 1 is completed on August 13th. Cycle 2 would begins on September 3rd and finish on September 10th. After Week 7 of Radiation we understand Linda has 4 weeks of nothing before beginning four 3 week cycles of chemo .

August

Su..Mo..Tu..We..Th..Fr..Sa

...................1....2...3...4

5 ...6 ...7....8...9...10..11WK1

12.13..14..15.16..17..18 WK2

19.20..21..22.23.24..25 WK3

26.27..28..29.30.31.......WK4


September

Su..Mo..Tu..We..Th..Fr..Sa

....................................1

2... 3... 4....5....6....7...8...WK5

9...10..11..12..13..14..15 WK6

16.17..18..19..20..21..22 WK7

23.24..25..26..27..28..29
.........................Wings...Listening Heart
30

Wednesday...August 1st

Oregon Jamboree

http://www.oregonjamboree.com/

Wednesday Afternoon...August 1st

This morning we packed up the motor coach and took off for what we figured would be our last carefree weekend. Of course, immediately upon arriving at our destination, I receive a call from the hospital telling me to come in to begin my treatment tomorrow! We had such wonderful plans for the weekend that I begged off until Monday at 12:45pm. I'm now waiting to hear from the clinic for the time to begin the chemo.

We're spending two days out in the woods with no cell phone service, but we have Internet, so we don't feel too cut off. Friday we move the coach to Sweethome, Oregon where we'll spend a fun filled weekend listening to many top western music stars.

It's way past my nap time, so I can't even think. Thanks again for all of your support. It was great seeing so many great friends at the Grand Prix in San Jose. Until next time....

Love and gratitude......Linda