Monday Evening....Christmas Eve...December 24th, 2007

A lot today......in terms of awareness and thankfulness...

Today Linda and I went to the counselor...to try to sort through what was going on with the "broken down caregiver"....I think what we learned was, first, not to discount that there may be some medical issues further needing resolving.....and to connect with the cardiologist Wednesday to narrow things down....then it is building the trust that the caregiver will survive the blood pressure issues and all and slowly deal with the anxiety and stress......

Family all arrived today and we had a good Christmas eve dinner....

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Linda then presented each child and husband with a Tahitian pearl necklace...she had originally obtained the pearls on our last trip to Tahiti (we go every five years to remind us of our honeymoon there) to make a floating pearl bracelet...but she decided that she wanted each child to have a necklace to remind them of her instead....it was very emotional and meaningful to the family members. We also gave each grandchild (ok..ok..there are only two...but it's not our fault)...a family heirloom...Linda gave Jillian a dish from Linda's grandparent's wedding dishes.....I gave Taigen the giant stone marble that my Father played with as a child and so did I.

It was a good evening...hopefully all do not stay up all night and are worn out in the am when the excitement starts.

.Heathwise, Linda and I had a pretty good day.

Dave

Sunday Evening....December 23rd, 2007

Church day today.......

Today we got up and went to our "old" Bend church...quite a drive but worth it...Linda was able to connect with folks and the service was good.....I did find all that standing up a bit much but I survived it all.

Linda even treated Janine and I to lunch at Izzy's (I'm cured of that place for a while).

The rest of the day has been uneventful....with a good dinner and all. Once the Amazing Race is over it's off to bed as tomorrow the multitudes arrive...I'll have to remember to breathe deeply tomorrow....

Dave

Saturday Evening...December 22nd, 2007

Not a bad day today...

I awoke to Linda feverishly baking in the kitchen..it's the Linda thing....particularly around holidays...the good message is it meant she was feeling good.....and she was. It seems the low neutropenic point has been passed and she should have a good week ahead. Her pulse only reached the concern point once today and as soon as she slowed down....it did too.

I had a crappy night with blood pressure issues..but today I managed to keep it pretty much in check...being somewhat immobile for most of the day.

Janine came today and we had a good cooked dinner...we've not been at our best cooking in the last while. Tomorrow we are all going to our old church in Bend.....Linda will be able to see folks she hasn't seen in a long time...and she will look her "old self".

Dave

Friday Late Evening....December 21st

Linda visited with the Oncologist Nurse Practitioner (Susie) today...her blood counts were good and she got a good report......and she felt pretty good today too.....our hope is this carries on through Christmas.

We visited with friends and neighbors a lot of the day also.....

Tonight my blood pressure is all over the place....not sure what that all means....and I am focusing on my breathing.

Dave

Thursday Evening......December 20th

Not so bad today....

Today was a pretty quiet day...we didn't get up too early..trying to be easy on ourselves. Linda's pulse has been elevated but comes back down when she focuses on it.

Monday we are scheduled with the hospital counselor..put that together today. tomorrow we go to the Clinic to get the neutropenic check...to see if Linda is "on her way down " or "heading up" (in terms of blood counts)....the prediction is Saturday will be the bottom point...tomorrow will give good clues though as to her well being in terms of the counts.

Linda has been baking again today..her therapy......

Janine comes Saturday.....stays for several days

Wendy, Chris and Taigen come Monday afternoon...leave Wednesday am

Jim, Jenn and Jillian come Monday afternoon...leave Wednesday am

Jeff comes sometime Monday and leaves Christmas night or Wednesday.

Dave

Wednesday Evening...December 19th, 2007

A significant day.......

Today Linda and I met with the Community Education Coordinator for the St. Charles Cancer Treatment Center....we hadn't been aware of the support services and therapies offered at the Center. Actually I have known the Coordinator for many years through Wings and as a friend so building instant trust was there.

I was quickly aware of the emotional needs that I had been neglecting...being such a good caregiver....it all came out pretty fast and hard.....

I discovered (I think I already knew) that stress management and anxiety transformation are an important part of this journey....so we focused on "the relaxation response" and will practice that for the next few weeks....we will meet with our "coach " from time to time to see how we are doing....

We are also scheduled for Reiki sessions right after the first of the year...to promote calm and well being...and stimulating healing inner body chemicals.....

And I will be meeting with a hospital counselor to assist in "my journey"...

I have practiced breathing numerous times this day and been listening to a CD on "Relieving Stress" by Belleruth Naparstek...I actually went beyond that and went to my ITUNES to seek out some Wings songs of significant meaning to me...

So quite a day....I'm not getting an instant "fix"..it will take a long time..so I am practicing patience (A struggle for a "get it done" guy)....my body is pretty messed up by the imbalances of it all. Like I said, I "trust the process"...I'm "in".

Linda was right there every step of the way and is feeling pretty good for the "neutropenic week"...a bit weak but looking good in spite of it.....we are hoping for a good strong Christmas for her....

Thanks to all of you for your support...this is a "tough gig"...we didn't pick it out...Linda expressed her sadness of how happy and carefree people can be during these times and she has this burden...and then we talked again about Alex Zanardi, who in loosing his legs in an racing accident, saw the goodness and how fortunate he was to have survived and being able to do as much as he can even though he lost his legs...an inspiration..we hope some day to see him again..he was and is Linda's favorite driver of all times....

Anyway..."it is what it is" and we make the most of it and be better as a result of it.

Dave

PS...instead of "taking on the world" we all agreed that the "Healing Bridges" with biofeedback..is soemthing "down the line" in a month or two..I talked with them today and they support the route we are taking.

Tuesday Evening....December 18th, 2007

Linda continues to make it through cycle 2.....

Today was a day at Doctors and more Doctors..not for the primary patient but the caregiver...cutting back on medications ...checking out other sources for the high blood pressure, etc. Tomorrow I go to a bio feedback screening to see if there is help there....we have pretty much figured out all is anxiety based...now finding the solutions is the task at hand. Linda has had a difficult journey and somehow it got the caregiver wound up in trouble. That old adage "take care of yourself first" is what we tried to follow..another great statement is "you have to walk in these shoes to experience what we've been through". The good news is we are doing the best we can do.

Linda meets Friday with the Oncologist Nurse Practitioner...she hopes for good reports which she can then skate gleefully through Christmas.

Dave

Monday Evening.......December 17th, 2007

Pretty good day today for the lady of the house.....

Linda had a pretty good day today with very little pain and no nausea.....she has been a bit emotional about my blood pressure problems (I am wound up about her problems..now she's winding up over mine....what a deal). Tomorrow I see the Doctor again.....today they prescribed some antidepressants....but then my pressure has gone low..so who knows what the deal is.

Linda will be entering her "neutropenic stage" which should be at it's lowest Friday (or Saturday)...then she will climb to pretty good health over the holidays we hope.

Dave

Sunday Evening.....December 16th, 2007

Not much new to report...

Today Linda and I sat all day..not moving a muscle..trying to avoid anything that might happen....Linda has no nausea (off those meds too)......her pain level from the chemo (bone-pain) is manageable...the steroid pills help a lot...she does take some pain medication in addition from time to time....her blood pressure is ok...she drinks lots of water to make sure it doesn't get too low this time. She is very tired though..most likely due to the chemo.

I am within normal ranges for blood pressure most of the time today.....taking many meds to have it happen though...makes me nervous as I don't like pills ...I see the Doctor again Tuesday and would like to get off some of them...I think they make me nauseous and jittery.

Dave

Saturday Evening....December 15th, 2007

Not much new to report...

Today linda and I had a low key day...focusing on the medications and the regimes we are to follow...I'm not too comfortable with things either way but we have to try things the Doctors dictate to get the solutions...I am always a bit nervous because it is a weekend.....seems like this entire events from the beginning has been on a weekend.

Linda is doing much better this round with the pain...the steroids must be doing the trick...she also is drinking water like a champ to avoid the low blood pressure last round which led to some "ER time".

Dave

Friday Evening....December 14th

Another trip to town......

Linda had her appointment with the Oncologist Nurse Practitioner today...and things went well. The appointment was to keep track of Linda's condition, as in the last cycle she had troubles about this time......her blood pressure remains strong and her pain is being managed well....at this point...of course each new day can be different so we are keeping close eye on things.

My hypertension continues to be bothersome...I visited the Doctor again today and he has added some "blockers"..whatever that means. I am wanting very much to feel better...not a time to go through this.

We are hoping for an "eventless" weekend....and then a good week next week.

Dave

Thursday Evening....December 13th, 2007

Pretty good day......

Linda met with her Internist today and got some medication changes and a plan to go through the blood pressure issues that will be arising with this cycle of chemo. Tomorrow we meet with the Oncologist Nurse Practitioner for more information and ideas.....all of this is to head off the many difficulties she had in the first cycle.

The "bone pain" that comes with the type of chemo used is starting to show tonight.....hopefully the steroids administered this time will ease that pain which lasts for about 4 days before easing.
My hyper tension showed up harshly this morning...199 systolic.....I'm working hard to keep it in check...the rest of the day has shown it to be lower.

We mentioned that our friend Steve stopped by the other day and brought a gift from his wife Kathy...a very cool Christmas block that says BELIEVE when lit up...here it is:
.

Dave

ps..."YES"..the hair is coming out again...it was coming back nice and fuzzy...but the new chemo rounds are taking it away...good thing there is a "Cranial Prothesis"..aka a "Wig".

Wednesday Evening....December 12th, 2007

Back to town today....again....

Linda is having a pretty good day...just as she had the day after the chemo in the first cycle. If all holds to form she will have a good day tomorrow with the bone pain beginning tomorrow night.. The Oncologist is having her start the steroids tomorrow in preparation for the bone pain so hopefully the pain will be reduced.

Today my blood pressure skyrocketed again..so off to the doctor we went. This hypertension is scary stuff....particularly when the numbers get so high. The doctor increased my medication ...gave me pills to lower the fluids in the blood and gave me "rescue" pills to take if the pressure gets too high....I am dropping off the pressure records I am taking Friday with him as Linda will be visiting the Oncologist nurse to deal with preventing the blood pressure drop she had in the last cycle. Tomorrow she also visits with the Internist to discuss the blood pressure issues that showed up in the first cycle.

We are trying to ease these symptoms as they have become quite scary to us...and most likely led to my hypertension.......hence the efforts.

Dave

Tuesday Evening...December 11th, 2007

Day 1 of the 2nd chemo cycle........

Linda spent most of the day in chemo today...she held up really well...it usually takes a couple of days for the side effects to show up. We spent time with the Oncologist discussing the side effects in the first cycle and how things would be better this time with additional medications and help from the Internist Thursday. Linda is also coming back for a check up on Friday as that was when her blood pressure was dangerously low last time.

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Linda wore her new socks to the infusion center,which say "BELIEVE"....her shirt as a gift from friend Judy said "BELIEVE"....friend and library head Beth created another prayer shawl which Lind wore today...with help like this, she was very prepaired to do well this round...thanks to you all.

Linda also took "goodies" to the infusion nurses....especially for liz who has been special and it was her birthday today.

My hypertention stated back up agan tonight...I am staying very calm and taking Ativan...it seems to be slowing down......slowly.......no trips to the ER if I can avoid it.

Dave

Monday Evening Late...December 10th

You asked for it....here it is.....the amazing ST. Paul High School cheerleaders Caudia and Linda...1961-62 and 1962-63:

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Monday Evening....December 10, 2007

A strange turn of events......

Late last night Dave started feeling an escalated heart rate and pressure.....the blood pressure increased to over 190....clearly not good.....Linda called 911....they came and stabilized him...the pressure dropped into the upper 140's and they felt he could drive himself to the emergency room.....so we drove to Bend and sat while assessing the situation...things remained calm so we ended up coming back and went to bed.

This morning the blood pressure spiked again...in the 180's...and then settled back again. Our friend Steve brought over a neat " BELIEVE" ornament made by his wife Kathy.....soon after he left, the pressure spiked again......

We decided to get a hold of Dave's doctor who had been treating him for the high blood pressure which started soon after Linda was diagnosed with cancer. Alas, his doctor was busy but they gave us another Doctor to see in two hours...we though decided to head down there (25 miles) immediately. During the ride, the pressure increased to over 205....enough was enough...we headed to the emergency room.

To make a long story short, Dave has hypertension brought on by his concern and apprehension about Linda.....the fix has been to double his blood pressure medication and a prescription of Ativan...which is like Valium...he is to focus on keeping calm, etc. etc. He has a follow up with his doctor next week. The doctors in the emergency room said this was a messenger...a good one..that this can be headed off and strokes and heart attacks will be something he will not have to worry about...good news although it felt like one was about to happen at the time.

Tomorrow Linda begins her second round of chemo...we hope we have much of it mapped out and can ease things a bit....blood pressure has played a big part in her routine also so we will work on solutions to that with the doctors this week.

Dave and Linda

Sunday Evening.....December 9th, 2007

A good day today......

After spending the night at Judy and Roman's home last night...and visiting this morning, we went on to Linda's Sister's home...Karen and Ray. Brother Marlin and Sister in law Joni were there too for dinner...we had a great time visiting....

We then went over the mountains to home..little snow and ice...so we lucked out traveling both ways this trip. Linda's blood pressure is down a bit so we will watch it tonight....Tuesday she goes in for her second cycle of chemo with two more after that to go.

Pictures Below:

First.....Linda at breakfast at Judy's

Second..Linda getting a BELIEVE shirt from friend Judy

Third...Linda and friend Judy

Fourth....Linda at dinner at her sister Karen's

Fifth...Linda, Karen and Marlin...three siblings (Brother Norman couldn't make it)

Dave

Saturday Evening...December 8th, 2007

A good day today!

Today Linda felt almost normal..according to her own words...a good night's sleep...well rested..

We visited with friend Nancy...and then went to daughter Janine's for lunch...... and then over to Linda's friend Claudia for an afternoon visit...Claudia will wonder why we have pictures of everyone but her with Linda....well...last time Claudia came to our house...I forgot...today I even took the camera along in my pocket so I wouldn't forget...and that is just where it stayed....no offense Claudia..next time we will get it done...we really want a Claudia and Linda picture...I mean, they were cheerleaders in high school together!

We are now in Stayton at Linda's friend Judy's...more about that tomorrow...and I most likely will not forget a picture...I hope.

Here's to another good day tomorrow!

Dave

Friday Evening.....December 7th, 2007

A day in Portland.........

Today we spent the day in Portland visiting and shopping...we actually believe Christmas shopping is done...part of which was due to me getting on the internet last night and doing on "on line stuff"

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We finished our shopping at COSTCO with Linda in a wheelchair to save her energy for the evening..she "kinda" liked doing that..so we might be doing it again from time to time to save her energy.

Tonight we are staying with our friend Nancy in Portland..she is on the Willamette River and we can see the decorated boats coming by lit up with Christmas lights. We then went to dinner at our favorite Chinese restaurant.

Linda is holding up pretty good and is managing her blood pressure...it is all over the place and she is using the medications to control it...still a bit scary but it seems to work. .....we are to meet again with the Internist next Thursday and between her and the Oncologist on Tuesday...maybe we'll get some strategies that will ease the anxiety..

Dave

Thursday Evening...December 6th, 2007

A busy day today....

Linda and I seem to be "at it " all day...not "at each other" but rather "at it"......

First shopping in Bend......not overly successful..found out all those things kids wanted on their list were NOT at the stores they said they were...what they did was sit at home....look it up on the internet sites...and ...and. I have learned that next year (as well as some of it this year)...is to stay at home and order it off the internet...GO AMAZON! We are slooowwww learners but now we get it.

We then had a nice lunch and conversation with the Hennessys'..great couple from Sunriver....

We then went home to pack and drive to the valley...to Portland..over the mountain pass. The pass was supposed to freeze up...and...and. But we went through in a breeze before the nasty weathe set in...bonus for us!

We did some shopping on the way up the valley to Portland...limited success..but some things we got....tomorrow and Saturday we have time to do some more shopping....tonight I go online to Amazon and knock a bunch of stuff off the lists.

Tonight we are at Daughter Janine's. Tomorrow night we have dinner and all with friend Nancy in Portland and spend the night. What is neat is she lives on the Willamette River and the boats parade up and down the river after dark with decorations and holiday lights....pretty neat. Saturday night we go to Linda's friend (and insurance agent) Judy and spend the evening and night..Judy and Roman have recently built a new home outside Salem ....we look forward to the visit. On Sunday Linda's siblings get to gether (Brother Norman, Sister Karen annd Brother in law Ray, and Brother Marlin and Sister in law Joni) at Karens...and then home Sunday night (to rest after all this).

Enough said....

Dave

Wednesday Evening....December 5th

A different day...

Linda had troubles with her blood pressure again...high pressure....high pulse. She finally placed a call to the internist....they are doubling her medication and adding a second medication....when her pressure is other than low she takes the medication...and stops it when the pressure is low. Not what we really want to do (like self medicate) but I guess this is it for a while. We hope to get additional information when Linda meets with the Medical Oncologist next Tuesday...she also begins the second cycle of chemo that same day.

Linda's partner Sean and his family came over for dinner tonight....nice folks and a great opportunity for Linda to take her mind off things.

Tomorrow we go to Bend to do some Christmas shopping and lunch with friends...and then on to the valley for the weekend if Linda feels like it....and the blood pressure is handled. We have get togethers with various friends and family throughout the weekend.

Dave

Tuesday Evening..Early...December 4th, 2007

Pretty good day.......

Linda: What a long day though. I've been plastered to the couch since we got home. We spent the morning in the clinic going through my last cardio test and then dropped by Brasada Ranch to place a large wreath above the fireplace in our large spec home (may it sell soon!). We stopped to do some grocery shopping and finally drove home.

I am trying to take advantage of my good days before next weeks chemo. After that, I won't feel like doing much until Christmas week. I haven't done any baking or candy making and usually I go nuts with it, giving tons of it away. I feel bad that I can't do all I'm used to doing for the holidays, but that's just part of the new normal. Dave gets a lot of it put on his shoulders. There would probably be no gifts under the tree if it weren't for him. He's definitely is my Christmas angel.

Thanks for all the recent comments. Many of them bring me to tears. I keep thinking one of these days you will tire of reading the blog, but I haven't been disappointed yet. I know your lives are busy now too.

Love and gratitude.......Linda

Monday Evening....December 3rd, 2007

Linda is doing pretty good today........

Linda's blood pressure is up and bit and the pulse is a bit high...but much preferred to that low stuff!

Today we went to the clinic to get the monitor hooked up...it measures Linda's pulse for 24 hours as she engages in her different activities...and she has to document what she is doing at all times so the clinician can figure out if there is a problem....

We also went to the lab to have the blood draws and injections to measure something in the blood which we don't quite understand..the bad news is ....neither did they....the lab couldn't get blood ....they also couldn't give the injection....a nurse had to do it..and the nearest department with a nurse had to read about the injection....you probably figured with all this, that a "time out" was needed..and that's just what we did..we said we would rather have them get their act together rather than trying to figure it out as we sat there..they agreed and tomorrow we go back....

Linda had some energy to go Christmas shopping today.....so we got things started..we only have this week as next week Linda will be starting another cycle....it's been hard convincing the kinds that this timeline is important....continuous reminders are being sent out.

Our hope is that Linda's days will be easier as this week goes along......we plan on doing our "valley Christmas" visits done this weekend.....

Thanks for all the comments and suggestions coming in....Linda reads them..as a highlight of her day.

Dave

Sunday Early Evening.... December 2nd, 2007

Not a bad day.....

Linda did pretty good today (so far)...looks like we will survive the weekend....

Her vitals are all pretty good and she has been resting a lot.....

We also did the Christmas tree as our help is unable to come as planned...we haven't done too bad though...work a little..rest a lot....

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If you look closely just off Linda's right hand you'll see the ornament I hung (In the upper picture)(just kidding....it was a team effort)......

Dave

Saturday Evening...December 1st, 2007

So many things..where do I start?

Last night Linda's blood pressure began to drop to a point where we became very concerned...and lost a lot of sleep as a result. Of course things like this happen on Fridays...with the weekend to face without help until Monday. And Linda had already had a frightful experience with a blood pressure drop (althought this was not close to the drop last week).

We made it through the night....today the pressure was ok and then low with a high pulse.....big time stress was setting in....I actually felt more fear with all of this as opposed to the nasty first rounds of chemo and radiation...it is because we understood how dangerous the situation was last week. Anyway, Linda called her cousin Ron in Eugene who is a doctor...I think we have mentioned how helpful he has been before....a "life ring" when we really need some help.

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Anyway, he explained things to Linda and where the danger points were with blood pressure and with the pulse.....it gave both of us a much ease in what had been very stressful. So although things are all over the map (high pressure...high pulse, low pressure...high pulse, or low pressure...low pulse) we feel as if we can "weather things".

Linda has another cousin, Ruth, in Nebraska who sent Linda today a very nice picture...simple but clearly stating "we believe"...Linda's mantra in the journey:

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Thanks Ruth...very cool and appropriate!

Tonight our neighbor across the creek was having a surprise 70th birthday dinner and we were invited....it was held in the clubhouse in Tolgate. outside Sisters....where we lived years ago. We went back and forth whether to go because of all the above...and....and.....Linda decided she was up to it and we were glad we went. There were many, many wonderful people present and it was a lot of fun.....and Linda stayed for 3 hours.....all her choice. Jack...our neighbor...turned 70 and was very surprised.....it was well worth going just to hear folks talk about Jack and good things about him.....bravo to his wife Liz who put it all together....so nice it all was...gave Linda much energy just being there.

We feel as if we can make it through the weekend....we don't think the tests Monday will show anything (but we will still do them)....we now believe the blood pressue issues are due to the chemo....now that we believe that, the question is how can we avoid the frightful, dangerous blood pressure drops if they should happen again in the next cycle....or the cycle after that....that is what we will be pursuing in terms of answers next week.

Dave

Friday Evening......November 30th

Not a bad day........

Linda and I went to her new internist to see about the rapid heart rate and all.....suprise...the internist was worried about the low blood pressure and all....particularly the incident last Friday where Linda had to be rushed to the hospital. The internist has scheduled two tests for Monday..one where Linda wears a monitor for 24 hours showing what her heart is doing and a test involving the endocrine glands (I think).....where blood is drawn at different times under different circumstances (I think)...we will know Monday for sure.

The internist arranged for a blood test also to check Linda's counts..we went over to the main clinic to have it done as we wanted Susie the nurse practitioner to see it also....the counts were down..not dangerously so as during earlier treatments ..but numbers to watch....Linda was predicted to have her low count point on Wednesday (the 10th day)...but it happened last night or early today (day 11 or 12)....so Linda has to be somewhat careful until Sunday and go on antibiotics if her temperature goes up...(so we canceled a trip to Costco today!).....actually we are told that open shopping sites are not a concern as much as smaller closed rooms...but we aren't taking a chance and came home to lie low for the weekend....it's cold out there anyway.

Linda feels stronger today..she ate well yesterday ...she is doing even better today....so our hope is that next week will be her "feel good" (great?) week. She has a good attitude and is eager to do some "strength" exercises to get some muscle back.....supported by the doctors. She has gained two pounds this week.

It will be interesting to see how Linda does when she feels better near the end of this cycle..whether the heart stuff goes away....and no side effects....I think what we will try to do is "sneak away" for a couple of days before the next cycle starts on the 11th. I know of a couple of places on rivers on the west side of the mountains where we could hide out and breathe and relax.

Dave

Thursday Evening.......November 30th

Linda awoke again with a high pulse rate..it dipped during the day but still not normal.....so tomorrow we look forward to the internist working on this problem. At no time did Linda get dizzy so the fluid intake has been good..she has been very conscious about getting plenty of fluids.

Towards the end of today she started to feel weaker and generally not too hot....perhaps a sign that she is heading downhill into neutropenia. Yesterday her counts were such that being around people was not a problem......but if she feels poorly tomorrow we will most likely head back to the clinic to get another blood test and a booster if needed. If she is neutropenic we will avoid the crowds etc....the numbers give those clues.

Linda is eating pretty good...mindful that it translates to good health....she ate about 5 times today in moderate amounts and will have some ice cream later tonight before retiring. The doctor said yesterday they were not concerned about her eating.....the concern was during the time when the chemo and radiation were together....and they indicated at that time that Linda's weight loss was less than most....anyway I am still reminding her to keep the nourishment going in...and she is doing that. They also supported the exercise program she is doing.

Notes about "Sadie the Lady"...Sadie had her 60 day followup appointment with the vet today...and the good news is the stones are gone...a $1,400 savings....last year the vet (another one) operated to get rid of the stones....this vet used an antibiotic and special food to do the trick...we are aware that this will be a life long problem so continued monitoring and testing will be necessary. She is continuing on the antibiotics for another 30 days to make sure all the bacteria is gone.....she has acted normal for quite a while so the clues were there that there wasn't a problem continuing.

Final note......Linda has been slowly decorating for Christmas..one of her favorite things to do....son Jim is coming over Monday and he and friends will set up the Christmas tree and decorate it as that is a big task and Linda is limited to smaller tasks over a longer period of time.....Jim had one question.."how are they going to get the tree"..my response: "it's in a box in the garage"...his response: "oh".......

Dave

Wednesday Evening......November 28th

Solutions on the way?

Today Linda went to the clinic for a "mid term" check up...half way through the first cycle of 21 days. Prior to that we met with Pastor Paul in the hospital and spent some very quality and inspirational time.

We met with Susie the nurse practitioner...and went over the events of the past 10 days..including the trip to the Emergency Room by ambulance...the high blood pressure and particularly the high pulse....and the extreme pain in the joints and bones that occurred for 3-4 days. Susie prescribed a steroid to deal with the pain....it will be taken at specific days and in specific amounts according to the days the "bone pain" is predicted to show up again in the next cycles.

Susie felt that the blood pulse/pressure stuff should be dealt with by a specialist....particularly when Linda has had trouble in the past (she was on medication prior to the cancer)...it appears the cancer and treatments have made things more on the edge. Susie also wanted us to come back when the doctor came in to review all that (and he had indicated yesterday he wanted to see Linda).

So we went to COSTCO for pizza and a bit of shopping and then came back...the doctor concurred with Susie about Linda seeing the internist....so Friday morning she will meet with the internist to review everything relating to the blood pressure/pulse.

Linda maintained quite well today...she is doing remarkably well in spite of a somewhat elevated heartbeat. She feels good that the pain will be diminished next round.....and that the heart stuff is going to be addressed.

Linda's blood test showed a reduction in red blood cells and a drop in the white cell numbers..but not enough to be neutropenic.....Susie was unsure as to whether Linda has "hit the bottom" and "is on the way back up" or "still heading down" with the counts...the next day or so should tell the story. nothing special is needed now..unless Linda has something happen like a fever or....

That's about things in a short piece...Linda is doing well...has a great attitude today...and looks forward to the rest of the week and next week where she is predicted to do well and end up feeling well.

Dave

Tuesday Evening.....November 27th

Kind of a stressful day but uneventful....and that's the good news......

Linda woke this morning and discovered she had lost two more pounds....which resulted in a tearful...anxiety filled hour before things calmed down.....it was fear based.....actually she is doing well on the weight but her being more focused on it cannot hurt...

And then.......

Linda's pulse was elevated again today....128.....not good..we were told to call in if it was over 100 so the call went in....but Susie has Tuesdays off so we didn't get any response until this evening....hence a lot of stress.

We are not sure what is causing the elevation but the doctor said he would get involved tomorrow.. (Linda has a scheduled appointment with nurse practitioner Susie to do blood counts etc)...it is our hope (big time) to figure out these blood pressure and pulse swings...last week she was in the emergency room with a low pulse and pressure..this week the pulse is high.

Son Jeff came over for dinner tonight...visitors are invaluable..Linda changes her focus and is "uplifted"....more visits and comments in the BLOG are keys to helping her out.....she gets much from both...

Thanks for every one's support.....

Dave

Monday Evening...November 26th

Today was a bit better than the day before...which had been a bit better than the day before......

Linda's blood pressure and pulse went up for while..maybe due to the moving around in the morning or the chemo...it seems to be up one day...down the next.....

She is drinking a lot of fluids..not leaving that to chance....

Linda suggested we do our Christmas letter today...we not only did it but mailed it too.......and I got all the bills paid (which might not sound like much in this day and age of automatic payments)....but these doctor and hospital and...and..bills go on forever ...even with insurance.....anyway it was a productive day.

We watched a lot of Garth Brooks concerts today .....he has a set of five published together....I find his music very meaningful and touching as we go though this cancer process.

Linda is working on her Christmas decorations..which is not a small task..but she is limited to one plastic storage bin a day (she's just started her second one of the day...so you know she has a mind of her own...and says she feel a bit more energetic).....much of her day was resting on the couch so a energy burst "ain't" bad.

Anyway we hope tomorrow goes easy on Linda and the next day is a check in with the doctor so we can discuss what the past week plus has been like.

Dave

Sunday Evening...November 25th

It's calmed down a bit around here......and here's Linda to talk about it:

I'm sorry for scaring you guys with my drama this week, especially my David. It's not easy for him to accompany me on this journey with all it's scary moments. I'll try to take better care of myself from now on.

My pain has finally let up today, so that I didn't need to take any pain meds. It's been a tough week and hopefully before my next treatment, we can figure how to make it a little easier. I might have decided not to sign up for it had I known it would be so hard. No, that's not true. I'm willing to go through whatever I have to to beat this disease. I'm so lucky to have so many people rooting for me. It definitely helps me get through the hard times. Thanks again for hanging in there with me.

Love and gratitude.....Linda

Dave again.....

I find my self very sensitive to music these days...some Garth Brooks stuff as well as Vince Gill and Trisha Yearwood...today I was thinking of Linda and I attending many Listening Heart seminars for couples in Wings (which many of you know we support and partipate in)....couples are given a song which in part represents much about them as seen by others....Linda and I have had a few songs over time as we have worked with this seminar many times.

Anyway, the one that sticks out today was a song by Placido Domingo called "Time After Time" (Carly Simon has done it too) which was given to us a number of times...it goes like this:

Time after Time
I tell myself that I'm
So lucky to be loving you
So lucky to be the one you run to see
In the evening, when the day is through
I only know, what I know
the passing years will show
you kept my love so young
so new and Time after Time
You'll hear me say that I'm
So lucky, to be loving you

www.wings-seminars.com

Dave

Saturday Evening...November 24th

Today Linda focused on getting as much liquid down as reasonable...the doctor wanted 12 glasses of 8 oz per day...that's a whole lot.....but Linda is making a good stab at it.

The pain in her legs was quite significant during the night and has tapered off a bit during the day today but still present.

Lastly, she threw up pretty forcefully after dinner tonight.....she wasn't on the nausea medication but will now return to it as it indicates to go back on it if the nausea returns.

We did go to the library for a short exercise stint..but not much else to report...watched the Oregon Ducks for the first time...they were awful!....surely not a top ten team....surely they will disappear from the charts now...and my alma mater Oregon State will handle them next!

Dave

Friday After Turkey Day...November 23rd

A tough day.......

First the good stuff.....see pictures of the family get to gether.....

And then the bad stuff.......

Linda awoke this morning with some "bone pain"...she had it most of the night and had gotten up for more pain medication....she spent 12 hours in bed...having gone to bed at 8 pm.

She appeared tired this morning and slept on and off...sitting next to me.....

And then.......

She seemed to fall away from me....and appeared very tired and worn down...Janine took her blood pressure and it was 55 over 35 with a pulse of 51....an unbelievable low set of "vitals".....and then she became unresponsive...she didn't pass out..but rather looked "glazed over" and "glassy eyed"...at one point her eyes rolled back.....I was unable to get her to respond...several times and efforts....Janine called 9-1-1 immediately.

The good news is that the fire and EMT folks were very close and there within minutes......Linda came back around and they immediately set up and IV and stabilized her. The hospital is very close also and Linda was transported there.....to make a long story short, it appears Linda had become dehydrated and this set up the above.....even though she had juice and all for breakfast...it wasn't enough.

After a long period in the ER, Linda was released....having had infusions of hydration. We have learned that she must really get the liquids down..much beyond what she had been doing...and "yes" she had been carrying a water bottle and drinking from it...still not enough....

We came home tonight...she is experiencing some more "bone pain" which we are trying to manage.....we hope the "scary times" are behind us...we have been through too much of that. This lady deserves better...we got two weeks of peace in Florida...we are looking for more.

Dave

Thursday...Turkey Day.....November 23rd, 2007

A day of ups and downs.....

Linda has had a mixed day of symptoms......during the night the "bone pain" set in...and this late morning she lost everything with little notice. We have been using a mixture of meds to get things under control. She's doing pretty good this evening although very tired...

Tomorrow will be interesting to see if the "bone pain" "peaked" this late morning and will now ease off....and maybe the nausea is gone ....we think it was brought on by the pain medication...we've had that trouble before.

We had turkey with family today.....Jim and Jenn and Jillian.....Janine....Chris and Wendy and Taigen....and us. Linda did a pretty good job eating.

Tonight Linda is wearing down fast...I'm going to get her to bed early....she was able to meet the goal she set quite a while ago..that was to be with family on Thanksgiving and to eat a real meal...she accomplished both.

Dave

Wednesday In the Valley......November 21st

We are visiting Linda's brother, Marlin and sister in law, Joni in the "valley"...specifically Newberg, Oregon. Tomorrow we go to to son Jim and daughter in law Jenn's home for Thanksgiving. Daughter Wendy and son in law Chris and daughter Janine will be there also....and granddaughters Taigen and Jillian.

Linda hasn't experienced any nausea....but....the bone pain showed up this afternoon...crampy feeling...followed by pain behind the knees and then pain in the elbows. we quickly started the pain meds and things seem under control. We shall see what tomorrow brings. as Linda says, if this is the worse it gets....it's manageable.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone....

Dave

Tuesday Evening....November 20th

Is the "shoe" going to drop?

Linda woke this morning...went to the kitchen and started baking for the holidays......

Two problems: she had chemo yesterday and is supposed to feel "bad" today and also she hasn't the energy to be a busy baker......did I mention she also was on the tread mill for 14 minutes and did weight exercises prior to that......

She did "calm" down a little and took a big nap......and no signs of nausea yet....we remember each individual reacts differently.....but again this is pretty early in the 21 day cycle.

Now she wants to go out to dinner to celebrate our 27th wedding anniversary today......will someone calm this woman down! (the bad news is I thought it was our 29th and we'd already done the 27th...oh well).

Glad to hear from all on the "comments section" in this Blog...happy holidays to all.....hug the one close to you...life is not predictable.....

We most likely will leave tomorrow for the "valley" (west side of the mountains..we live on the east side) to see Linda's brother and sister in law and celebrate the holidays with the kids in Portland.

Dave

Monday In Oregon...November 19th

Today was a big day.....

Linda was a bit nervous after what she has gone through..then feeling finally much better and now back in to "feel worse to get better".....

It actually went "ok"....we first met with the nurse practitioner ..."Suzie"....who went though what things would look like....there are 4 cycles to this round of chemo...each 21 days....there are two "chemos" given on day 1 after some preliminary medicines (all intravenously).....on days 2 and 3 Linda should expect nausea...on days 3 through 5 it looks like "bone pain"....on days 9 through 12 low immunity and she should feel at her best on days 17 though 21......and then it all starts again (for 4 cycles of 21 days).

We went through other side effects including loss of hair again and the medications Linda will need to take.

We also discussed the possibility of finishing things in Florida if the side effects were manageable..everyone has a different experience.....so we have a "green light" if all goes well....we shall see.

So Linda proceeded with her first infusions...it took a total of 6 and a half hours....she approached things with great confidence and fortitude....my sense is she will be on top of all this...this time around.....look to the following pictures for a sense of how her day went.....

Dave

ps..Our luggage showed up at 1 am this morning..the dog heard the car show up and she woke us up...the guy delivering it then broke one of his car windows with our luggage.....it was none worse the wear and then he drove off...this morning there was a pile of car glass in the driveway...what a day it was....

Sunday Eveing In Cold Central Oregon.....November 18th

We arose early this am and traveled to the Tampa airport for the long trip home...and things didn't go well....a United Airlines stewardess slept in and of course no one could get on the plane til she showed up (FAA regs)......and it went downhill from there.....first they were going to send us to Denver direct but they couldn't find our bag in the airplane..then they sent us to Chicago and left our baggage there...and then...and then.

We are home but no luggage.

We had the shock of our lives to hit a white out snowstorm in the mountains on the way home...what a shock...driving a day ago in flip flops and shorts...and now wrestling with a snowbound highway with a whiteout...but we made it.

Linda is a bit tired and we both have a bit of a "reality check" in that tomorrow the chemo starts again...it has been so nice to have her back to a semi normal state...a reminder of our good times....we have to remind ourselves tomorrow: "it is what it is" and we will make the best of it.

Dave

Saturday....Last Evening in Warm Florida....November 17th

Today was a day by the pool with warm weather back again...also a day of folks stopping to say "good-bye" and how good Linda looks........and she does. It was a good choice to come here.....Linda will be in good health mentally and physically for her next round of chemo starting Monday morning.

Tomorrow we leave at 4 am to catch the airplane home (groan).

Dave

Friday Evening (Still In Florida)....November 16th

One more day to go...then back to cold!

Actually today is a cold day in Florida...a cold front came in for a day and lowered the temperatures into the lower 60's...tomorrow back up to the 70's again........

Linda was a bit tired all day today...we went to see some friends' new home and had lunch with them and another set of friends....and then back for Linda to take a nap (she hasn't had one in days)....

Tonight we start packing for a return home.....the flight home starts with a 4 am Sunday morning trip to the airport....we will leave our car at the airport for friends to pick up later and drive to our home and garage.

I want to say clearly this trip has been a good one ....good for Linda and her health....she has improved "hundreds of percents".....folks who see her for the first time say she looks "fabulous".... (perhaps they wonder if what they were reading previously about Linda's condition was "real".....it was).

Of course staring Monday, the "journey" will take a different direction with new chemo.

Dave

Thursday Evening In Florida.....November 15th

Today was a special day as we went to the Moffitt Cancer Institute where leading edge research on cancer is taking place.....we attended a forum where a leading research doctor talked about lung cancer and it's toll as well as the fact that even though it is the leading deadly cancer it is lacking in funding etc. as compared with other cancers......the statistics were sobering. He went on to say: "there's not even a race for a cure"......meaning other cancers have fundraising events going on but yet this cancer lags significantly behind with little to show in efforts to fund for research.

He explained how the research is proceeding...getting a bit technical but he talked about how bad proteins are formed that cause the ultimate cancer cells and how the right medications can "turn off" the protein formations. They are getting to the point where they can identify which proteins a patient has and then prescribe the right medications...

There were two testimonials by two lung cancer survivors..one a stage IIIB (like Linda) and a stage IV).....very heart felt and perhaps inspirational.

A panel of doctors and nurses then answered questions and were most informative. One doctor talked about how his patients played better golf after lung removal surgery.......when pressed about why he said the patients no longer had what it took to "kill the ball"...therefore playing better.

We were glad we went.....it is a very large complex.....we believe Linda's doctors in Bend are benefiting from this complex and its research.

Dave..

Wednesday Florida Evening....November 14th

Linda had a good day today......each day gets better and better......

After a sunny morning and lunch, we went to downtown Tampa with friends to wander a bit in "Channelside" and to have dinner.....Channelside is where the cruise ships dock (none today) and Tampa Bay Lightning Hockey Team fans gather prior to a game....

Linda did a bit of walking and held up really well.....

Tomorrow we go to the Moffit Institute which is a cancer center for Tampa. To commemorate November as Lung Cancer Awareness Month, Moffits invited cancer patients and family and friends to a Forum. The topic will be Personalized Therapy for Lung Cancer Patients....which is followed by a panel discussion. There will be a reception following with the Faces of Lung Cancer Exhibit....a collection of photographs and personal care stories of lung cancer patients, their caregivers and health care professionals.

Linda is looking forward to this Forum as a vehicle for collection of more information and also this might be where she continues her treatments after Christmas.

Dave

Tuesday Evening In Florida...November 13th

Linda had a pretty good day...lots of "sun time"....we went to a different resort and had lunch with friends and played cards by the pool....(I admit having won....not making a big deal about that (YEAH RIGHT!)).....and then back to the hot tub....and now "Dancing With the Stars"....looks like Helio will get first or second to the "spice girl"....Helio is a great guy....too bad he is a racing driver with the wrong open wheel series...he used to be with the better series...Champ Car (CART in those days). (See Below)

Linda seems more in charge and involved in more "detail things" like the bank accounts, home sales, etc....etc.....

Tomorrow we are heading to downtown Tampa for an afternoon...watching the cruise ships leave the docks...and more. With Linda's energy level up we are able to do more.

We'll do some more pictures......Below are some pictures taken last spring at the Rolex 24 Hours with Helio of "Dancing With the Stars"

Dave

Monday Afternoon in Florida.....November 12th

Linda's up 2 pounds....she's starting to get into the "eating habit".......her blood pressure is down a bit but all in all she's looking much better....

Denise, Rachel, and Clark left this morning...nice visit....following are some pictures of their visit.....

Sunday Evening in Florida......November 11th

This is Denise writing the blog tonight here in Tampa with Linda and Dave. The Florida air is doing wonders for Linda. She looks great tonight.

We are having a great visit enjoying good food and great company. Rachel, Clark and I went kayaking in the lake while Linda took a good nap. She is tolerating more foods today and taking in more calories.

Disappointing day with Jeff Gordon losing the race today at Phoenix . Dave is in a deep depression. This is short and sweet . We have to go play Apples-to-Apples. Pictures tomorrow.

Denise

Saturday Evening In Florida....November 10th

Linda here reporting on another beautiful day in Florida. We spent a lot of time in and by the pool, took a short walk to get me exercised and went out to lunch.

We're sitting in front of the TV now looking for something interesting to watch. I'm hoping to go to bed fairly early as I'm expecting niece Denise tomorrow. They were expected today, but daughter Rachel wasn't feeling well, so they put it off a day.

I'm feeling pretty much the same today, grateful to be sharing the day with Dave and hoping tomorrow I may feel just a little better. Thanksgiving is coming and I want to be able to eat with gusto, and not just mashed potatoes and gravy!

Hope all of you out there are enjoying your weekends, and know that I hold you all in my heart.

Love and gratatude.......Linda

Friday Evening In Florida....November 9th

Today was not a bad day...Linda still has some side issues like burping..heartburn...fatigue, etc...but all in all....a pretty good day.

We went for dinner at friends which was great...good food and a good TV concert.

We had a good day by the pool too.

Tomorrow niece Denise and family arrive for a two day visit...Linda looks forward to comparing notes and getting some more clues to her journey to health.

Someone is in the home next to us.tonight..it has been vacant for months and is for sale...we never saw the man who owned it previously...so we are a bit nervous...with the housing market "dead" down here, people are renting their places they can't sell for cheap rent and renters move in who don't respect anything...and have kids....and .....and. So we are a bit nervous...."there goes the neighborhood". Others down the block are experiencing the same sort of problem as are other neighborhoods.

Dave

Thursday Forida Evening......November 8th

Linda had a pretty good day today.....she is "squeaking" in extra calories between meals with a calorie loaded drink...she still eats small meals...so this is helpful.

Tonight friends brought dinner over and we shared a movie together...so that was fun. Earlier today we sold a property we owned here...an RV lot...made some good money in a short period of ownership. We had to get in the car and begrudgingly leave the pool and sun and go quite a ways to sign papers.

Tomorrow we plan on some more "pool time"...the rest and sun are good remedies for Linda.

Dave

Wednesday Evening....In Florida....November 7th

Another Sunny Day in Florida.....Pictures As Promised

Linda on our back lanai....

Our back yard and lanai

Our back pond with an alligator on the far bank ("Lidi"....ie "lidi-gator"...named by the attorney two doors down ("litigator"..."lidi-gator"...get it?)

Our front

Neighborhood traffic stoppers

Linda continues to improve (my observation)...we are heading out to dinner with friends....

Dave

Tuesday Evening In Florida....... Nov. 6, 2007

Dave promised he'd do the pictures you asked for tomorrow if I did the blog again tonight, so you get me again.

Last night ended up being a tough night for me with more than usual bloating and belching. I have been working today being really careful what I eat to try to figure out if certain foods are setting it off. I seem to be doing better tonight, even though I'm stuffed from my small portion of baked chicken I had for dinner. I'm so impatient to get my appetite back.

It was really warm today, so we spent a lot of time by the pool and in the pool. I'm getting some of my color back, but being careful with lots of sunscreen, especially on my radiation areas. Tomorrow, it'll be a bit cooler but still nice.

Love and Gratitude......Linda

Monday Evening......A Florida Evening.....November 5th

This is Linda with one of my rare check-ins. I'm enjoying the Florida sunshine immensely. The sun feels so good on my usually cold body. I know I'm going to hate to have to leave it for the winter of Oregon, but therapy will take me home plus the holidays are coming and I want to be close to our family.

I'm impatient to feel well again, especially appetite wise. That is the hardest part for me, not wanting to eat, but needing to so badly to put some meat back on my bones. My neighbor here brought me some custard pudding today to entice me. Full of whole milk and eggs, it should help. I'll have some soon for my evening dessert.

Thanks for your continued caring.

Love and gratitude.....Linda


Linda reminded me to report in on my MRI.....the Ear, Nose and Throat Doctor had ordered it to see if there was a tumor causing the great loss of hearing in my left ear...the short answer is.....no tumor...(phewwwww). He called today today and said they had to do the scan to rule this out as it is a real possibility and they needed to eliminate it right off the bat.

Now he said for me to go ahead and get tested again for a hearing aid. This will keep me from turning my head to the left when someone is talking on my left side. I don't know why these doctors have been coming up with stressful things for me to do (like the phantom heart murmur last month) with everything Linda has going on....enough!

Dave

ps...the other good news is that the loss is not due to the Champ Cars....the doctor said both ears would have loss if this was the case...he thinks it is a virus caused loss...just like Linda suffered years ago (she lost most all her hearing though in the left ear...and it is not correctable by a hearing aid).

Sunday Evening...(Florida Evening)....November 4th

Another day in warm and sunny Florida......Wilderness Lake Preserve is where we live.....in Land O Lakes, Florida...about 1/2 hour north of Tampa. http://www.wildernesslakepreserve.com/

Specifically, we live in Deerfields, which is a gated community of Villas, within the Preserve. Wilderness Lake Preserve is a beautiful community of neighborhoods and lodges. and recreation.....we love the flora and "green-ness" (my word) of it all....

Linda is doing pretty good...eating better with less side effects....and she is eating more types of food....the bad news is I will have to be a serious cook soon....I've been somewhat slack in that department for the past couple of months.

We got some quality "sun time" today...and took an extended walk...Linda didn't make it all the way back to the starting point so I got the car and picked her up...good start though...she took a long nap as a result.

We saw lot of old friends today and neighbors stopped by......Linda's niece, Denise (and Clark and Rachel) are coming over from the "east coast" of Florida to visit us on the "west coast" this next weekend.

Dave

Saturday Evening (Florida Time)......November 3rd

Hello from Florida!

It took us all day to get here....but well worth it.....warm.....warm.....warm!

Linda says to tell everybody she feels great! She is loving the warmth and the bright colors and all. She even ate pretty good on the airplane getting here. I think this two weeks "off" will be wonderful for her.....seeing old friends...sitting by the pool....going to the beaches...maybe a hockey game or two...

Linda said to tell everyone that we were on vacation and the Blog would be on vacation too...but I said "no way"...look for some pictures. and stuff daily.....

Our villa looked as if we had never left it.....the water tastes a bit sulfurous...but everything else looks in good shape.

More tomorrow....

Dave

Friday Evening....November 2nd

28th Day of Healing

Things are looking a bit better today...Linda actually drove the car and was active in a lot of the day's decisions. She submitted her samples for the GI test...of course, things being Friday...she should hear Monday....But my sense is that she is getting better each day and the doctor has said it will take time to be back to "normal".

I did my MRI on my left ear today....took two Ativans as I have extreme claustrophobia...it seems I went to sleep a few times which is not what they want...one moves while sleeping..anyway it was finally done but Monday till i hear the results.

We are excited to be heading to our Florida home in the morning...we are in Portland now as the flight is early. We will be in warm weather...poolside....for two weeks.....we can't wait.

Dave

Thursday Evening....November 1st

27th Day of Healing

Linda had another healing day...I think there is some improvement but hard to convince her....since she is completely off pain medication, she feels a slight pain in the left lung...the Oncologist said there was some scarring there from the radiation...the good news is there is no esophogus pain.

She still has discomfort in her gut. The Clinic is having her do a sample to see if there is any infection...we take it in tomorrow....if not it is something that will get better over time, we hope. She continues to eat in small amounts ...many times a day.

I have an MRI tomorrow as I have lost much hearing in my left ear....I thought it was being around Champ Car too much but the Doctor says it is too unequal a loss from the left to the right ear...so they are testing tomorrow to identify, if possible, the problem. Linda had the same thing years ago in her left ear...she actually went deaf....they determined it was virus caused.....strange I have a problem with the same ear.

We leave for Portland tomorrow and fly to Florida early Saturday....we look forward to the warm weather and to see friends...we have had many phone calls from Florida friends once the word was out we were heading that direction.....bless them all. We will see you soon.

Dave