Monday, April 5, 2010

Monday.....April 5th....2010

Several things going on.....

We went to Cocoa Beach to see the space shuttle launch at night..the launch at 6:21 this morning was the last night launch of the shuttle series...there are .three shuttle launches left with all daytime launches. We also got to spend time with Linda's niece Denise.....husband Clark...and daughter Rachel. We enjoy spending time with them....

During the night last night Dave happened to his phone on and received a call that his Mom had passed away. It was expected but not so quickly.....we had hoped to make it back to Oregon to visit one last time. She was blessed with no pain and lived a long life...but was up against impossible odds with her health issues. We are having a family memorial the first part of May when we return.

Our house sale here in Florida is moving forward...the appraisal is tomorrow with the inspection on Wednesday.....we plan on closing on the 16th and begin our cross country trek in the car with personal belongings and all soon thereafter.

Below are various pictures including the last hockey game where we sat so high in the Forum...but worked our way down to the 100 level big spender seats...we have another game tomorrow night..

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Saturday, April 3, 2010

Saturday....April 3rd...2010

Thereare two ways to live your life.....one is as though nothing is a miracle..the other is as though everything is a miracle......Albert Einstein

Last night the Tampa Bay Lightning lost 5 - 0...boy did we have a great time...yea right...

Yesterday we interviewed a possible realtor recommended by a friend....last night she called to say she might have a buyer...this morning the home was shown....this afternoon we have sold our Florida home (subject to closing).....

Now what?

We plan on driving our car to Oregon....starting about April 18th and arriving in Portland on the 27th.....that way we can get our belongings and art home.....we sold the home "turnkey"...ie sheets, towels, cooking ware, furniture, etc...etc...everything except our personal stuff.

How's Linda ...doing well....doing quite well....Tomorrow we travel to Cocao Beach (on the opposite coast..Atlantic Coast) to visit Linda's niece Denise and her family....and to watch the launch of the shuttle Monday morning.....
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Thursday, April 1, 2010

Thursday....April 1st...2010

No April fools!!!!!

Linda had a great day at the Oncologist.....good CBC numbers.....no need for hydration....no need for procrit....the reexamination of the scan showed no big differences.....no tears....no depression....

Back to the salt mines for her!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Tuesday...March 20th...2010

"Everything is possible to the extent that you are certain"......Don Denhoff

Sunny and warm today....tomorrow is better....the next day is better and so on...finally spring is here in Florida.

Linda is doing ok....struggling with the shingles still.....she consulted with her Oregon Internist...who put her on steroids...and today Linda found it is the same steroid in the same amount she has been taking for other things...DUH...who knows the answer.

Linda seems to be weathering the chemo better this week although she is quite fatigued....Thursday is blood test day so we will see if she needs hydrating.

Linda is eating pretty good...finding the way to beef up some food choices to "up the calories"

Tomorrow....more "sun time" and paperwork/computerwork....

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Sunday....March 28th....2010

Today was/is a "low" day...Linda and Dave feel not at their best...seems to be a continuation of whatever "hangs on forever"...we look to a more healthful day tomorrow.

No NASCAR today....rain

No St. Petes Grand Prix today....rain

No activities at our home today....rain

Linda's Uncle Ross passed away last week....Representative in Nebraska.....Lieutenant Governor in Nebraska...and the list goes on....there is a rumor.....according to Linda..who has always believed this...that he invented the string in the roll of lifesavers.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Saturday....March 27th ....2010

I heard the other day that Oregon State Treasurer Ben Westlund, passed away the beginning of the month, from lung Cancer. News doesn't always reach our home in Florida. I was sad to hear of it for many reasons including Linda being in stage 4 of lung cancer.

What I wanted to say though was that he was a champion for the people...when I worked for the Oregon Eduction Association, and he ran as a legislative candidate from my area, the OEA opposed him and went "after him"...he won, in spite of it all and didn't hold it against us...and became a good friend of education.

When I served on the Education Service District Board of Directors after retirement, I had further contacts with Ben and found him still a good public policy supporter..not always worrying about the votes or the money but rather what was right...how refreshing....

He had a short run for governor...he would have made an excellent Governor for the State of Oregon....putting the people ahead of politics.

He was the only politician who started as a Republican..became an Independent and then a Democrat....and "lived to talk about it".

He will be missed....I quote from a statement his wife said in an interview with the Oregonian newspaper in 1996 ( Libby was on the Mt. Bachelor Ski Patrol with me for years):

In an interview with Libby, while sitting in the living room of her home in the countryside near Bend.

"I would like him being remembered as someone who cares for everybody else and worked his little fanny off to make sure we all have a good life....We do have a really nice place here, but he wants everybody to go home at night and be happy where they are."

Rest in peace Ben.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Friday....March 26th....20210

"A gift found...a gift given...a gift lived...pass it on"....Dave Reider
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A warm and sunney day today...
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Linda was pretty upbeat today after the hydration yesterday.....

We went to dinner before the Arena Football game tonight....the football game as ok...but not as exciting as we might have thought...so we left at half time and had dessert...before returning home. Oh well...we had to try it to see...
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Tomorrow "sun time" and then an evening with friends...
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Thursday, March 25, 2010

Thursday.....March 25th...2010

"Good health is better than wealth"....Doug Merchant

Linda went in for her tests today...her numbers have lowered but still within the limits...no alarms sounded yet.....they did infuse her with hydration today and added potassium....and she felt better...not so tired and fatigued.

We then went to St. Petes to see old friends in for the St. Petes Grand Prix....a race event this weekend.....an Indy Racing League (IRL) race....the racing series our former Champ Car merged with ....putting many many good people out of work. The good news is that many have ultimately found jobs within the IRL....although it has taken a lot of time for some...

So we were able visit with some today...and it was wonderful....Champ Car was/is referred to many times as a "family"...and we feel that closeness to those who were part of that series and members of the "family".

Linda was pushed around in the wheel chair by her caregiver and held up well....and really enjoyed those she connected with.

Tomorrow ....rest....rest....and then arena football....the Tampa Bay Storm.....keep Linda active without wearing her out...she has drawn the line at going to a baseball game next week...the Tampa Bay Rays....she has always hated baseball (she split up with a baseball team owner who wanted to marry her because she hated baseball...lucky me...who stood next in line)..
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Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Wednesday...March 24th...2010

The Lightning won in overtime last night....glad we were there....Linda was in the wheelchair which saved her a lot of energy...she also withheld from shouting and screaming and...and...which she is prone to do .....to save energy.
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Today Linda woke up with a blood pressure reading of 84 over 61.... ouch ....water ...water ....water. By the end of the day it increased to 97 over 67. We believe it is the cumulative effect of the chemo Alimta. More than likely tomorrow she will do infusion of hydration in addition to the blood tests.

Linda's problem is not immunity..er white blood counts are good...it is the red blood cell production which is down...so it's not about avoiding crowds ...or...or. It is getting the volume of blood to increase...anemia is the key word.
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Sunday, March 21, 2010

Sunday...March 21st...2010

Swee and Jim came to visit tonight after being involved in the 12hours of Sebring ALMS race...it was good to see them after being with them when we were working with open wheel racing through Champ Car/CART. And Swee is a frequent blogger and supporter of Linda..on and off this blog. We had a delightful dinner and conversation with them and look forward to seeing them again.

Linda did well today....folks are saying she really looks good.

It rained all day after a beautiful day yesterday....tomorrow we have a lot of "book work" to catch up on..
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Sunday....March 21st....2010

Actually I'm not "battling" cancer.....(Dana Jennings is a writer for the NY Times..he has been blogging about having postate cancer......
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http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/author/dana-jennings/
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Taking time to read his thoughts provides great insights for the cancer patient and all those surrounding him/her.
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We’re all familiar with sentences like this one: Mr. Smith died yesterday after a long battle with cancer. We think we know what it means, but we read it and hear it so often that it carries little weight, bears no meaning. It’s one of the clichés of cancer.

It is easy shorthand. But it says more about the writer or speaker than it does about the deceased. We like to say that people “fight” cancer because we wrestle fearfully with the notion of ever having the disease. We have turned cancer into one of our modern devils.

But after staggering through prostate cancer and its treatment — surgery, radiation and hormone therapy — the words “fight” and “battle” make me cringe and bristle.
I sometimes think of cancer as a long and difficult journey, a quest out of Tolkien, or a dark waltz — but never a battle. How can it be a battle when we patients are the actual battleground? We are caught in the middle, between our doctors and their potential tools of healing and the cell-devouring horde.

We become a wasteland, at once infested by the black dust of cancer and damaged by the “friendly fire” of treatment. And ordinary language falls far short of explaining that keen sense of oblivion.

As a patient, it’s hard to articulate how being seriously ill feels. In a profound way, we are boiled down to our essential animal selves. We crave survival. We long for pain to end, for ice chips on parched lips, for the brush of a soft hand.

It pays to have a positive outlook, I think, but that in no way translates to “fighting” cancer. Cancer simply is. You can deny its presence in your body, cower at the thought or boldly state that you’re going to whup it. But the cancer does not care. You’re here, the cancer has arrived, and the disease is going to feed until your doctors destroy it or, at least, discourage it.

Then there’s the matter of bravery. We call cancer patients “brave,” perhaps, because the very word cancer makes most of us tremble in fear. But there is nothing brave about showing up for surgery or radiation sessions. Is a tree brave for still standing after its leaves shrivel and fall? Bravery entails choice, and most patients have very little choice but to undergo treatment.

Which brings me to “victim.” I didn’t feel like a victim when I learned that I had cancer. Sure, I felt unlucky and sad and angry, but not like a victim. And I have no patience for the modern cult of victimology.

Victim implies an assailant, and there is no malice or intent with cancer. Some cells in my body mutinied, and I became a host organism — all of it completely organic and natural.

And what are we once treatment ends? Are we survivors? I don’t feel much like a survivor in the traditional (or even reality TV) sense. I didn’t crawl from a burning building or come home whole from a tour of duty in Afghanistan.

I’m just trying to lead a positive postcancer life, grateful that my surging Stage 3 cancer has been turned aside, pleased that I can realistically think about the future. I’m trying to complete the metamorphosis from brittle husk to being just me again.

The phrase “salvage radiation” is not used much anymore, but when one doctor said it in reference to my treatment, it made me feel less human and more like a “case.” It meant I needed radiation after surgery, because the cancer was more aggressive than expected — I needed to be “salvaged.”

I felt as if I had been plopped into some screwy sequel to “Raise the Titanic!” — time to raise the U.S.S. Jennings, lads. Or maybe I was going to get picked up by a scrap-metal truck and then get zapped at Frank’s Junkyard, laid out in the back seat of a 1960 Ford Fairlane.

And I’m still troubled by this sentence, which I’ve heard many times: “Well, at least it’s a good cancer.” It’s usually applied to cancers that are considered highly treatable, like those of the prostate and thyroid.

Most people mean well, but the idea of a good cancer makes no sense. At best, the words break meaninglessly over the patient. There are no good cancers, just as there are no good wars, no good earthquakes.

Words can just be inadequate. And as we stumble and trip toward trying to say the right and true thing, we often reach for the nearest rotted-out cliché for support. Better to say nothing, and offer the gift of your presence, than to utter bankrupt bromides.

Silences make us squirm. But when I was sickest, most numbed by my treatment, it was more than healing to bask in a friend’s compassionate silence, to receive and give a hug, to be sustained by a genuine smile.

Strangely enough, although cancer threatened my life it also exalted it, brought with it a bright and terrible clarity.

So, no, cancer isn’t a battle, a fight. It’s simply life — life raised to a higher power.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Saturday....March 20th...2010

Linda here reporting a beautiful sunny day visiting with friends at the pool, and dinner out which we hadn't done in a while. I had a rare appetite which was great to experience. I get tired of forcing myself to eat which is usually what I have to do. The chemo just kills my appetite (not to say I've ever had a big one).

We're looking forward to a visit from Jim and Swee Hart tomorrow who are down in Florida for the Sebring race. We haven't seen them since our racing days, and I'm sure you all recognize them for their frequent blogging. They are two of my biggest supporters.

Love and gratitude.....Linda

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Thursday.....March 18th...2010

I spotted this article today...it reflects a lot of my thinking and wonderment lately with cancer all around me (so it seems)....the article creates a debate...I've included some accompaning comments afterwards...I post this for thoughts..

Cancer is a preventable disease....So why don’t we prevent it?

Cancer is perhaps the most frightening of all diseases we face. And the thing is, it's very often entirely preventable. If we simply made some different decisions, earlier, many cancers would never happen. That sounds like an audacious statement. Cancer after all, comes "out of the blue" -- we report that it happened "suddenly," that it came "without warning." It is the proverbial bolt of lightning that changes our lives all in one strike. How could we prevent lightning?

But in fact, a newly emerging consensus holds that 90 percent of cancers are rooted in environmental or behavioral causes. That means we have a much larger window for rooting out cancer early -- and what's more, a much wider opportunity to head it off before it ever comes close. The lever for opportunity, though, is us -- we need to act.

When you think about it, that makes absolute sense. Consider smoking, which remains the leading cause of cancer in the US. If every smoker quit right now, today, it'd reduce the number of deaths by 440,000, and the number of cancer cases by about 200,000.
Presto! You've just prevented cancer in 25 to 30 percent of the cases in this country. (Of course that's just a pipe dream, so to speak, but you get the idea.)

And there are more examples. Look at the second leading cause of cancer-related deaths: colon cancer. Simple screening strategies such as colonoscopies and fecal blood tests already turn up nearly 150,000 cases of colon cancers early. Greater diligence could turn up tens of thousands more cases. This is preventive medicine in action, saving thousands of lives. Same thing with cervical cancer, where another easy test -- the Pap smear -- has saved thousands of lives.
Of course, screening tests aren't a panacea. Recent news on PSA tests for prostate cancer and mammography for breast cancer demonstrates that screening is only effective when it's deployed judiciously and selectively.

But preventing cancer doesn't always mean taking a test. It can mean much simpler things: like changing our diet. In fact, a brilliant 2008 paper from researchers at the esteemed M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston simply and clearly explains how 30 to 35 percent of all cancer-related deaths are linked to diet (even more than are related to smoking). This includes alcohol consumption, which has been linked to many forms of cancer. And the researchers explain, preventing cancer can mean other seemingly simple actions, like getting less sun. That alone would dramatically cut down on melanoma, the most common form of cancer, with nearly a million cases a year. As many as 50 percent of Americans who live to age 65 will develop a skin cancer, nearly all of whom could have avoided it had they stayed out of the sun more frequently.

And yes, other environmental factors play a role as well -- exposures to chemicals and radiation are estimated to cause as many as 15 cases of cancer deaths. Reducing the amount of chemicals we're exposed to, and reducing the frequency of radiation we're dosed with via CT scans and other radiography, could significantly decrease many cancers.

But what about genetics? What about the cancers that are directly attributable to our DNA? Well, that's less than 10 percent of cases. That's not to say our genes don't increase our risks for many forms of cancer, but cancers that are essentially caused by genetic factors are few and far between. In most cases, it's the interplay between genes and environment and behavior -- leaving us all sorts of room for evasive action.

As the M.D. Anderson researchers put it: "Cancer is a preventable disease that requires major lifestyle changes....Genes are absolutely not our fate."

So what to make of this? On the one hand, practically speaking, few of us are going to upend our lives and make major lifestyle changes. Are we really going to radically change our diets (no meat, no wine)? Are we really going to swath on sunscreen every time we step outside?

Probably not. But on the other hand, this evidence shows that we have all sorts of opportunities in our lives to act -- that we are agents in our lives, not passive actors. We have some control. Our actions have consequences -- and conversely, that means we can also take action.

The truth about cancer is that it's something we have some influence over. But in order to take advantage of that fact, we'll need to act far earlier than we do today. We need to be thinking of the long-term ramifications of our actions.

In many respects, this news should be a source of empowerment. It should gird us for action. It should steel us to take on cancer like we've taken on heart disease -- the number one killer in the US (cancer is the steady number two). After all, we already talk about heart disease in terms of risk, and reducing risk. We take huge amounts of baby aspirin and statins in order to reduce that risk. And it's worked: deaths from heart disease have dropped steeply over the last few decades.

But for some reason, when faced with the same options for cancer, we don't really do much of anything. We don't treat cancer like a preventable disease. And as a result, cancer deaths have stayed pretty much flat. Screening rates are typically low, and effective treatments for prevention are underused. A recent study looked at the drug tamoxofin -- a drug that's proven to cut the risk of breast cancer in half for women at high risk. Alarmingly, though, the study found that an "exceptionally low" number of eligible women actually took the drug. For whatever reason, they weren't compelled to make the smart choice, a choice that could save their lives.

We need to change the way we think about cancer, and we need to change the way we talk about cancer. For too long the conversation -- among scientists, politicians, and the media -- has focused on the idea of a "war" on the disease, spending billions of dollars to find a cure (which, in case you haven't heard, we still don't have). It's been all about end-stage treatments and too little about preventive action.

We need to talk about cancer like we do heart disease. Dr. David Casserett wrote on HuffPost Living recently about how we talk about cancer in the wrong way. We need to change the dialogue. We need to make a few things clear about this disease. We all have a risk. But we can all, likewise, take actions that reduce our risk.

The war on cancer begins at home -- your home and mine.

Thomas Goetz is the executive editor at Wired Magazine and author of the new book The Decision Tree: Taking Control of Our Health In the New Era of Personalized Medicine

Some Comments....

*The title should be, "SOME Cancers are Preventable" or maybe even "A Significant Portion of Cancers are Preventable"

*As a cancer researcher, I agree that many are preventable and you did a very nice job outlining ways we can reduce our risk of cancer.

However the title as it stands may be interpreted as offensive, because it implies that all cancers are preventable.I don't read it that way, that you are at fault if you get cancer. I read it like this: there are ways to take care of yourself so that your chances of cancer greatly decrease. But then there's environment and genes. So even if you take care of yourself perfectly well, the environment in which we live or the gene pool you inherit can still come together to trump the good stuff.

*There is more to living than trying not to die.

*60% of all those newly diagnosed with lung cancer lung cancer NEVER smoked, or quit multiple DECADES ago. The second leading cause is RADON. And guess what? You breathe it everyday.

*Of course not all cancers can be prevented through lifestyle measures; some 15% are due to heredity, 5% to workplace carcinogens and 2% to pollution - things we can't do much about. However, a whopping 30-40% of cancers are linked to poor dietary habits and another 30% to smoking - that's 60-70% of cancers that could be averted.

*Thomas Goetz, the author of the post, chiming in here. I want to address something a few commenters are saying, assuming that I am somehow blaming people who have been diagnosed with cancer for their illness, or that I am saying that if people had done things differently, then we wouldn't have cancer. Neither is close to the case. Individuals who have been diagnosed aren't to blame; they are dealing with something real and serious and need all of our support.

Rather, my point is that our approach as a society - from our doctors and insurers to researchers - puts too much emphasis on stopping cancer after it's already happened, and fails to take advantage of this window of opportunity to reduce the overall number of cancers through greater emphasis on prevention and early detection.

To say that we have some influence in our health isn't to blame people for what happens. It's to say that health isn't just fate; it's something that happens for all sorts of reasons - some of which we actually have some influence over. The more we can take advantage of that influence, the more likely we'll have better health. Not perfect health; something will always happen to each of us. But better health.

This won't eliminate all cancers (obviously), but it could move the needle towards fewer cases - a needle that has scarcely budged since the "war on cancer" was declared.

Thursday.....March 18th....2010

I'm back in the infusion room for my chemo, so thought I'd let you know what this doctor said. I am glad now that Dr. Kornfeld left me a message, as that way Dave was able to read it and Dr Weaver listened to it. He says there is always a percentage discrepancy from one scan to the other, sometimes just depending on the radiologist reading it. As long as there isn't a difference in the tumor of 10 to 15% one way or the other, they will stick to the regimen.

We can't afford to be switching chemos and drugs when there or so few options left open to me. I don't want to run out while I'm doing so good. Anyway, I'm ecstatic with the "stable" news, and am glad you are all out there celebrating with me. I believe your love and prayers are the reason I am doing so well, so I am celebrating you, also. HIP-HIP-HOORAY for you!

Thanks again for all the birthday wishes. I ran out of space to display all the cards. All the love really lifted my spirits, and I had one of my best days in a long time.

Love and gratitude...........Linda..
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ps...Dave's sense of humor:
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Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Wednesday.....March 17th...2010

Seven days without laughter makes one weak......Mort Walker

Well, the news is good news.....as far as the Oncologist in Oregon is concerned.

Linda was "glued to her phone" this evening....we had friends over for a movie and the phone kept ringing with people wanting to know the scan results....and she hadn't had any news. When it came, the phone didn't ring...or...or...anyway there was a message from the Oncologist, saying:

It was a bit like comparing apples to oranges because the technician didn't compare the scan to past CT scans...even though he had them.....but the Oncologist, in reading past results and the new findings said he thought things were "stable" and he recommended continuing on the same therapy....he said he thought this was good news.

Tomorrow Linda is scheduled for an infusion session and it will be interesting to see what the Florida Oncologist says..he took the day off today so we will talk with him tomorrow .

Why is this good news?

Drugs used for a stage 4 cancer are not "good forever"......the cancer finds a way to "work around" the drug or chemo...then the Oncologist has to move to a different drug or chemo....Linda has been through some already and then has had to move to a different type when the cancer started to progress (spread as well as increased tumor size). The longer one can stay on a type of drug or chemo...the better...and Linda has been on Alimta for quite a while....and this is good.

Will she get "better"...not unless there is a new "miracle" drug out there......anything that keeps the cancer and/or its spread "stable" is a "win" and clearly the Oncologist report is a "win". Can we hope for this forever....yes .....but it will change.....when.....who knows.....later than sooner we hope....

For now we live with the positive....

A review:

What Is ALIMTA?

The scientific (or generic) name for ALIMTA is pemetrexed (for injection). ALIMTA is a chemotherapy drug used to treat certain kinds of non-small cell lung cancer (NSCLC) called advanced nonsquamous NSCLC. When discussing NSCLC, "nonsquamous" includes adenocarcinoma, large cell carcinoma, and all other cell types except squamous cell.

Chemotherapy consists of treatment with one or more anticancer drugs that kill cancer cells. ALIMTA works by interfering with a crucial process that allows cancer cells to reproduce and spread. Specifically, ALIMTA works by inhibiting the action of 3 enzymes that are required to help the cancer grow.

Bottom line....it is a chemo that messes with the cancers' ability to reproduce and multiply ...the cancer is still there...it doesn't disappear..... but it is "held in check"....ie "stable"......and that is what the Doctors hope for.....

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Tuesday...March 16th...2010

I know it's 1m on Wednesday (Florida Time) but my list of things to do is long so I'm still counting this as Tuesday....!!!!!.....

Nobody knows the age of the human race but everyone agrees that it is old enough to know better...Anonymous

Linda's test results didn't come today....we checked this evening with the Oncologist office in Oregon and no fax yet..so we are hopeful it will come tomorrow...we are particularly interested in hearing from the Oncologist from Oregon as to what he thinks before we move forward here in Florida....

Linda went to the hockey game tonight..first one since the surgery and all..she went in with good energy but tired quickly by the third session....so we are skipping Thursday night..maybe we will go Saturday night...she will assess things in the morning to figure out if she will be "up" for Saturday.....ps....we lost tonight 2 to 1.....we keep backing away from that last playoff spot..it is starting to look like an uphill climb....

Stepbrother Mick called tonight...Dave's Stepmom is home from the hospital....the radiation is done on the brain...she takes 21 medications a day.....she is very happy to be in her home...as we would expect....Mick had to "move in" to take care of her.....


Monday, March 15, 2010

Monday.....March 15th....2010

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change .... Wayne Dyer

Dave was settling in for the night...peaceful....resting....breathing easy....and then....

Did you do the blog tonight?......nope

Did you read the birthday card son Jim sent me? .....nope

So here I am doing the blog at almost midnight after reading Linda's cards that came today....

Linda's scan went as expected today..about three hours....with three needle insertions before they got it right to put in the nuclear material for the scan...Linda having forgotten to get her port accessed before she came in......we should know the results as early as tomorrow night...but with the results going to the doctors it might be another day or two....the results are going to the Florida and Oregon Oncologists...who will most likely brainstorm if "next steps" are needed.

Dave went to the doctor and got meds to deal with the upper respiratory infection...including antibiotics....an inhaler and something that squirts up the nose to break up the stuff clogging the sineses and tubes to the ears.....he feels better.....

Hockey tomorrow night....going with my bride!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Sunday...March 14th...2010

Sunday....Gratitude is a quality similar to electricity....it must be produced and discharged and used up in order to exist at all.....William Faulkner

The 64 old mature woman had a good day today...Dave was under the weather with the 3 week plus upper respiratory infection again...

Linda has a good attitude and is watching her water intake and all which solves a lot of problems and prevents problems also. Her Oncologist from Oregon called tonight and the scan is tomorrow with results to him later this week. The only bad thing is we have to get up before 8 am to get ready to head out for the scan...we aren't used to those "early hours"......

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Saturday....March 13th...2010

Linda had a great birthday....an evening with friends made it all worth while...Linda felt energized.....and all had a good time....thank you all who came for your part on Linda's behalf...and all of you long distance with your messages...phone calls...comments on the blog.....cards and whatever......it all works in wondrous ways.....

PS..the cake was great...what does it take to .....take a cake mix...add water...add oil...add eggs....let the mixer do its thing....bake for 30 minutes ....done....except what does one do for frosting...the answer is to have a wife who then wakes up..makes fudge which doesn't harden properly so she puts it on top of the cake...great combination....add ice cream and everyone was happy....
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Saturday...March 13th...2010

Friday...Stress is an ignorant state..it believes everything is an emergency.

Saturday....Try praising your wife...even if it does frighten her at first.

Saturday...the Happy Birthday girl is at it.....64 and humming the song all day....

Thursday was a bad day for Linda..she slid into the "pits"....and spent some time there....we had to have her hydrated again at the cancer center.....and shots for hemoglobin....the Oncologist said her plate was "filled" and she just couldn't keep up with it.....blocked system causing discomfort and a bit of panic....the return of the shingles....the low immune system..etc...etc.
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Thursday night she felt much better.....

Yesterday Linda was "ok".....we got deluges of rain all day...on top of the day before....we went shopping but couldn't find what Linda wanted....and the plant hunting sucked as the places didn't have what we wanted...

AND..today is a new day..bright sunshine..no rain...our pond is overflowing from the previous rain..never seen that before....temperature in low 70's..YEA!

Friends are coming over tonight to see Miss Linda and share cake (Dave baked)...and ice cream....

We might even go out and get some tan time in today...




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Thursday, March 11, 2010

Thursday.........March11th....2010

Well,here I am again a week later back in the infusion room being pumped full of fluids. I'm supposed to be at the mall being pushed around in my wheelchair shopping.

I know some of you have questioned whether I am from another planet because of my positive attitide. Well, if you could see me now, you would definitely know I'm human. I've had to ask for my personal box of tissues, I've been crying so much. The doctor thinks my plate is piling up again, and it is finally getting to me. The blockage experience was quite painful for a few days and very scary. Then I've discovered that the shingles (which I had never really gotten rid off) is flaring up. That means back on those meds and the pain of a new outbreak. Then there is the fear of Mondays's scan. I don't normally sweat them, but this one has me nervous, and living in the future, missing out on the moment. I know better, but what can I say? I've had what I call the "chemo punies" before, and I just have to ride them out. My blood counts aren't as high as they should be which doesn't help.

Say an extra prayer if you will that I get back to my "inspiring" self instead of this whiny lady.

Love and gratitude.........Linda

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Wednesday....March 10th...2010

Friend Steve (Deputy Dawg) and I have an agreement....when we see something that's good...and free..each get two (2)..one for me..one for him..and the other way around...

Anyway, Steve went to a cancer forum and picked up a lot of "stuff"..one for him..one for me....but there was something special in the "give a ways"...A tear off daily desk calendar with daily affirmations for cancer patients. Not only are they great for cancer patients but all patients in this world and life or ours...so each day we will share the affirmation for each of you.

Today:

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen

Ok....yesterday's too:

The spiritual eyesight improves as the physical eyesight declines

Wednesday....March 10th...2010

Beautiful day today.....Linda walked a long way today....and yesterday too.....wore her out but she did well...she hopes to get back in the gym by next week and start a toning process too.

Linda had a scare last night when she had "blockage" for the first time in her system....she had severe cramping and distention....no one prepared her for this and she had to scramble for information about how to deal with it....they should have prepared her first....with the help of her hospital nurse in Oregon coaching by phone, Linda finally overcame the problem..about an hour away from having to go to the urgent care at the local hospital. Linda is very much aware now that water and fiber are important in her diet and she is going to log what she eats to see what to avoid...etc...

Brother Darron is back in Alaska and in three feet of snow...while we were in the upper 70's finally here in Florida....he found his flight most exhausting.

We are working on our return to Oregon in the latter part of April. Once we fly back we will drive to Bend for last dental and medical matters and pick up the RV....we then go to Wilsonville...south of Portland ...to be "trailer trash" for a month or two...(in a deluxe motorcoach)....

Tomorrow Linda has her Oncologist appointment for blood tests...wouldn't surprise me if they didn't keep her for hydration again...we then plan on wheeling her around a giant mall in the Brandon area by wheel chair....as it is suppose to rain tomorrow....

Monday, March 8, 2010

Monday....March 8th...2010

When I get older losing my hair,
Many years from now.
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings bottle of wine.

If I'd been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door,
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four.

You'll be older too,
And if you say the word,
I could stay with you.

I could be handy, mending a fuse
When your lights have gone.
You can knit a sweater by the fireside
Sunday mornings go for a ride.

Doing the garden, digging the weeds,
Who could ask for more.
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four.

Every summer we can rent a cottage,
In the Isle of Wight, if it's not too dear
We shall scrimp and save
Grandchildren on your knee
Vera, Chuck & Dave

Send me a postcard, drop me a line,
Stating point of view
Indicate precisely what you mean to say
Yours sincerely, wasting away

Give me your answer, fill in a form
Mine for evermore
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four.

Miss Linda will be 64 this coming Saturday....we all were singing the above Beatle's song at dinner tonight....

Linda walked a long way today with brother Darron.....he leaves tomorrow...just as the weather starts warming up (for sure)...
.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Saturday....March 6th...2010

Linda's Resurgence......

Linda has decided that she has backed herself in a corner with the lingering effects of her surgery.....the procedures she must follow because of the ostomy....the painful impact of the shingles.....relatives getting lung cancer and dying.....dealing with stage 4 lung cancer itself....etc...etc....

She has decided to "rise up" and get back "fight'en"......she has made a commitment to get active again...to walk again....go eat better....to have a better attitude.....

Realize, if you will, that what Linda has been through, would "take" a normal person "down"......but again, she isn't normal.....so the "resurgence" begins....

Sooooo, let's get behind her and cheer her on.......cards, calls, blog comments....it all helps.....

Today she did her part...for a start...she got a fancy haircut to feel femine....took a walk...baked bread....had a great attitude....watched the hockey game on TV....
.

Linda Wood
7613 Deer Path Ln
Land O Lakes Florida
34637

Til April 26th

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Thursday......March 4th.....2010

Dave has gone to Costco, and I am awaiting an infusion of fluids and anti-nausea meds after a visit with the doctor. I have been nauseous the last four days or so; don't know if it's the crud or not, but glad for any help I can get. I'm having a blood test taken as I write, so hopefully that will be good. I am so anxious to have the pet scan done on the 15th. I haven't had one since I was first diagnosed with cancer, and if it shows no new signs of cancer anywhere, we will have so much cause to celebrate!

The sun is shining outside, although it is still chilly. The temp will be going up every day finally being really warm by the day Darron flies home. He's been such a good sport, but I have felt so bad for him being ill and unable to golf. We've had some good visits, though. We were looking at pictures of fishing trips to Alaska, and reliving great memories. I forgot how young we were!

Thanks for your love and support through our family sadness.

Love and gratitude.......Linda

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Wednesday....March 3rd....2010

Linda is entering her "depressed"...low period following the chemo infusion last week...it normally lasts a couple of days....tomorrow Linda goes in for her blood tests so we hope all is well....particularly since she has the "crud"..ie...upper respiratory infection also....the medication the doctor put her on seems to be doing its job..we shall see...

We are starting to put the word out on selling our Florida home.....look to www.daveoforegon.blogspot.com for details.....hey...blog readers will get a special discount if they are interested in purchasing the property...we might throw in the beautiful scooter for two as a reward....?????????

Dave's Mom is being released from the hospital....and doing brain radiation as an out patient....now the struggle is getting care for her in the "home" setting.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Monday.....March 1st...2010

Beautiful day today with rain tomorrow...

Linda has the crud...took her long enough...she called the oncologist here in Florida and will jump on it with antibiotics.....no sense in feeling awful after finally getting "up" on the surgery.....

Darron ....no golf....as he is still feeling low..

Computer has a maleware infection...again...nothing can stop it....last time it went away after 5 days....imitates Windows software and wants me to pay for protection....Nortons was unhelpful last time..now on Bitdefender....let's see what they can do.....in the meantime I am on the lodge computers for a while....so if we miss a day or two on the BLOG, it's the computer at fault....

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Sunday....February 28th....2010

Not much to report...Linda doing well.....weather nice but not warm enough yet...tomorrow will be better then back to rain the next day...

Dave and Darron struggling still with upper respiratory infections...Darron went to the Doc today....

Canada just beat the USA in hockey in overtime....oh well...

No word on the situation updates in Tacoma with Dave's Mom as everyone took the weekend off...should hear tomorrow....

Friday, February 26, 2010

Friday....February 26th...2010

Linda had her best day in several weeks today.....really exciting to see her perked up and enjoying more of her day....Darron thinks it is his company.....more than likely it is recovery continuing from her surgery as well as a great attitude....tomorrow we will go to the Florida Aquarium as well as Ebor City to see the making of cigars by hand and then dinner .......

Stepbrother Mick is doing a great job of taking care of things with our Mom and the loss of "Little Sis"....he is understanding real quick what a caregiver is....he says his education is moving quite quickly. Our Mom underwent her first brain radiation today...she will have 10 sessions over the next two weeks....then she begins radiation on the lung tumor. ...in an effort to shrink it too....in both cases it is an effort to improve a quality of life.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Friday (12:15 am)....February 26th...2010

A lot to report tonight.....

Linda had chemo today.....her white counts were good....a bit low on the red blood cells but a "go" for the infusions. She got Alimta and Zometa today......and is now scheduled for a full body "pet scan" on the 15th....this will be the "tell all" on how she is doing.....in terms of control of the cancer.

Dave and brother Darron both have the "cold" floating around Florida....it isn't much fun with upper respiratory problems as well as head sinus problems....they are working to keep it from Linda.

Dave's step sister "Little Sis" passed away last night....lung cancer which metastasized to many places in the body. We are sad.

Dave's stepmother is in the hospital with lung cancer which has metastasized to her brain, affecting her short term memory and balance. A decision has been made to transfer her to another hospital for radiation treatment to deal with the quality of life issues...those being the balance and short term memory...the prognosis is for months in terms of survival with no chemo planned.

How do we feel.....mixed feelings......both were heavy smokers taking a risk that could have been avoided with all the knowledge and warnings about smoking out there. Not that we say they deserved it...or wished them bad luck. It raises our awareness about taking care of ourselves.

In addition it seems most likely that they both had lung cancer when Linda got or had hers in the initial stages.....and they both missed the indicators which would have gotten them to help. Linda reacted to hers and got help....not early enough for a cure but time to continue a quality and duration of life.

We have a glimpse at what the last part of Linda's life might look like with these two experiences...frightening in part...but Linda takes some peace in knowing how much time went along with the cancers out of control....and gives her a sense she will be around for a while longer.

What else....we are still sorting through these "happenings"......they have come fast and are moving quickly......we know we have a bit of "internal work" to do....we won't push it.

Our neighbor is here from New York for two weeks and driving us nuts....which is his standard operating procedure...he is a conservative republican hating Obama, Pulosi, Reed and the rest....and loves Palin....today was the neighbor's birthday...we made sure the card we gave him had greetings from President Obama.

Another cold snap here with freezing tonight....we look to warmer days.....

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Tuesday....February 23rd...2010

Brother Darron is here for two weeks....a lot of golf planned on his part....

Linda is "holding her own"....operating at about 50% of a "normal" person .....she claims.....with the cancer she indicated she was at about 75%...she still hasn't bounced back from the surgery yet.

Chemo on Thursday.....

Some bad news stacking up.....stepsister Vicky (little sis on this blog) isn't expected to live more than a couple more weeks.....the cancer has spread throughout her body...having started as lung cancer.

Dave's stepmom has been acting "strangely".....yesterday she was hospitalized and masses in her lungs and brain were diagnosed.....today she had a lung biopsy so Thursday we will all know what this means.

Friend Kim (the "Southern Belle") is having breast cancer surgery today....we are keeping close tabs on that....and wish her well....

That is enough!!!!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Sunday....February 21st...2010

Linda got her first extended time in the sun today.....and a long nap.....weather was beautiful...we need more of it...tomorrow night brother Darron comes for 17 days of golf and hockey and....

ps...what about the USA hockey team...a "nail biter" of a game.....

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Saturday....February 20th....2010

Wendy and Taigen flew home today....and the weather was warm for the first day since we have flown back down here...duh....
.
Yesterday was another Busch Gardens day...more low key with the focus on seeing the animals and getting Taigen on some kiddie rides....but...she also rode a roller coaster and a ride the went upside down...gutsy at least!

Linda is still not at full strength....and a full blown headache today..most likely sinus caused ....hopefully tomorrow will be better for her so we can both enjoy the sun.....
.
Pictures below at Busch Gardens...look closely to see what the young chimpanze thinks of us.....the picture with the cloudy water is hippo poo...BIG hippo poo while we were standing there....Taigen acts like the mountain lion...
.
.





Thursday, February 18, 2010

Thursday.....February 18th....2010

The bobber came ashore but alas still no fish.....Linda's chemo set for next Thursday....

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Wednesday....February 17th....2010

Better weather in Florida today but still nippy....by Saturday...back in the 70's...about time....

Linda was a bit slower today....not as much energy....but still functioning....we are setting up her next chemo session....first in Florida...for a week from Thursday....

Taigen went fishing today...but no luck....her bobber came off and we have to wait for it to drift to shore to continue the effort....

Monday, February 15, 2010

Monday....February 15th....2010

Busch Gardens day today....Linda did well...good energy and all.....she seems to be on the up side of things which is much better than the last few weeks of post surgery and new chemo and all....good for her.
.
The weather was very cooperative today...not bad since it has sucked since we've been back to Florida....tomorrow is supposed to be colder again....

Taigen, Chris and Wendy had a good time....Linda "passed" on all the big roller coaster rides this time.....smart girl.

Tomorrow it's back to the airport as Chris flies home to Seattle....Taigen and Wendy stay until Saturday....brother Darron flies in next Monday for a couple of weeks of golf...
.


Sunday, February 14, 2010

Sunday....February 14th.....2010

Happy Valentines Day...we hope your day was as good or better than ours....and we had a good one. Linda has broken out of her "funk"...and felt more lively and not quite as tired...a bit more alert....and with no nap today.....

Wendy, Chris and Taigen just returned from Cape Canaveral where they had a delightful day.....tomorrow we all go to Busch Gardens.....Linda is known to ride all the big roller coasters but I think she will pass this trip....we have the wheel chair for her to ride around in all day....

We wrote our valentine letters to each other today....which we have been doing for a few years....very touching and insightful as to our feelings and thoughts about each other and our commitment to our relationship....

To my beautiful wife…… (To Linda....in part)

Your courage is beautiful…..and inspiring…..
Your positive outlook is very beautiful….amazing to be part of….
Your power is beautiful ……a powerful woman for sure……
Your acceptance of “what is“…..is beautiful……
Your living currently is very beautiful…..

Happy Valentines Day beautiful woman…..


My Dearest Valentine....... (To David....in part)

Your love exceeds all my expectations......
Your patience exceeds all boundaries......
Your humor keeps me smiling......
Your understanding simply amazes me.....
I am the luckiest valentine in the world.....

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Saturday....February 13th...2010

Wendy, Chris and Taigen arrived yesterday from Seattle....today they went to Sea World in Orlando and after spending the night in Orlando, will go to Cape Canaveral tomorrow. I've always told Taigen she will be a rocket scientist....after visiting the space center, I am sure she will want to be one.

Monday we all go to Busch Gardens....Linda in her wheel chair with Taigen riding, of course.

Linda has been in the "dip" for a couple of days....a period of time associated with the Alimta chemo treatment....she has been emotional and "weepy".....and sleeps a lot....and tired a lot......

Tonight we ventured out for a couple of hours to see old friends and "Big E"...aka Ernie...play his guitar and sing.....for money....a job....and he is quite good....getting out among friends was good for Linda.

I found this piece tonight while looking for some stuff on the net for Linda...a good summary of how she has been feeling....

Its Ok To Cry

Like most I feel bad, ashamed about crying and most of the time unable to do it. We push back those tears. Remember when you were a kid and you would have a cry, a really good cry where you could not breathe very well. Now remember after how good we felt after, like the whole world was fresh and new with a whole lot less weight.

We need to shed those tears; we need to let them out. There is much sadness in our world just as there is much bliss. Judging it, criticizes the world for how it should be, holding us back from moving forward in our personal life. Judgment of how it should be instead of allowing the tears of anger, sadness, shame and showing our fear only blocks us back from our feelings. There will always be stuff in our life that part of us wishes’ were different, this is the part that is not living in the now. When we live in the now we allow our self’s to feel. In this we become accepting of what is rather than what should be. We cry when we need to. In understanding that we need to cry, in order for our personal growth we need to understand our tears.

There are different kinds of tears, for different situations, all of which come from different parts of our body showing up in different ways.

Anger Tears: Our ego is in the way here, we are in a vulnerable, exposed, powerless place that we do not want others to know. We are feeling inadequate, our body stiffens. Not knowing how to express our self’s not feeling that tears are acceptable or polite we try to hold them back until they squeeze out the out side corner of our eyes, making it easy to push away.

Sad Tears: When we are moving forward in a new direction, leaving certain things, persons, usually advancing to a new level we have sadness in our hearts. With our shoulders down, the salty tears come up from our hearts to the inside corner of our eyes. They spill down our cheeks over our lips where we taste them, and are reminded with the bitterness of the bitterness of life.

Frightened Tears: When we are frightened we create tears that come from the bottom of our feet. Our whole sole is trembling or shaking and the tears engulf the whole well of our eye, clouding our vision. They spill over our whole face, making us feel more vulnerable.

Shame Tears: These come from the pit of our stomach when we are to much in our heads, judging criticizing ourselves and others. The word Should has a big part of shame as the word it self is a guilt trip on our self’s and others. With our shoulders dropping we are stuck in the anguish of the past.

Combo Tears: The worst tears of all, stiffness of anger, dropping of sadness, trembling of fear, and the bending of shame. Trembleling cold and nauseated, feeling unworthy and afraid we get mad at our self’s for feeling this way.

Tears are our friends, we need them. We need them for our self’s and to see them in others. As we are all learning to understand our feelings tears show us where we stand today.

We all have tears inside us. We hold our families pain, our friends pain, the planets pain. With so much pain from the outside and our own we have denied our tears. It takes strength to cry, shed a tear. Finding it easier to cry for someone else than for your self. Tears get us through the darkest time, bringing us to a new understanding of our self. A new light, where we can show others who are blocked in their tears. These unshed tears cloud us, discolor our thoughts, making us unable to take real steps forward so we repeat the blocked process over and over.

Telling our stories, while letting out the full range of tears heals us, as well as the ones we have shared with. After the tears we, are able to see the blocks in a better light with a new understanding, making it easier to pick up and move forward again.

Its ok to cry, go ahead the planet needs you to.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Thursday....February 11th....2010

Linda here sitting with Dave watching the Tampa Bay Lightening on TV. Dave had an offer for tickets to go, but there was no way I had the energy to go to a hockey game. I'm still recovering from the past month and the flight here. I can't wait until Dave can report "Linda's back!". I am so impatient to feel better.

I want to get my personal thanks in to all the people who supported us during our move, both physically and in spirit. It was amazing that we survived it all, but having you all behind us really helped.

Daughter Wendy and family arrive tomorrow during this cold spell. I feel so bad they won't have warm sunny weather, but it can be hit or miss this time of year.

Tomorrow is a week since chemo, so I am already feeling the side effect of depression setting in. Hopefully having family here will lessen the severity of it. At least I now recognize it as a side effect, so I am prepared for it.

Love and gratitude.......Linda

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Tuesday....February 9th...2010

Yes...we are in Florida....and in bed....and we might not get up for 3 days....we have to by Friday as Wendy, Chris and Taigen are coming from Seattle for a week.

The trip wasn't too bad ...a bit long with stops in Phoenix and a transfer in Houston before ending up in Tampa...thanks to Steve and Ethel for picking us up....and daughter Janine for taking us to the airport at 4 am....

Linda did well on the journey...we used the wheelchair all the way....which helps...

Monday, February 8, 2010

Monday....February 8th...2010

Up at 3:15 am for a trip to the airport...and Tampa by way of Phoenix and Houston....ugly flight but you take what you can get....

Both the car and truck are in storage and the bags are in Janine's car ready to go....

Linda did well today...felling much better...still gets a bit tired......and needs nap time.

We saw AVATAR in 3D IMAX with friend Claudia today.....great time....great movie....

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Sunday....February 7th.,...2010

Man the time flies when you're having fun...and when you are moving and it isn't so much fun....

Jim and Jeff and Dave, using a big UHAUL, moved everything to Brasada Ranch in two loads in one day...and used the furniture and some of the art to "stage" the spec house....it looks very nice "furnished".

Wendy and Chris and Taigen came in from Seattle Friday night and cleaned all day Saturday and Sunday morning...,with the Super bowl as the "finish time".....daughter Janine couldn't make it because of a medical issue....so the load was upped a bit...but the "help" met the challenge.

We are now in Portland..getting ready for a night's rest and packing tomorrow for the flight to Tampa.

A big thank you to the individuals involved in the packing, moving and cleaning...we really appreciated the help....

Linda had chemo Friday...even though she looked not so good, the Oncologist said she was in good shape...blood counts and all....her followup visit to the ostomy clinic went well as well.....she is much more comfortable with it all.

Linda worked too hard yesterday...and it showed....today she is doing quite well and feels the part....so we are looking to an uneventful flight to Tampa....

Dave would type more but his hands feel like clubs with cuts all over them and a pinched nerve in his left arm....

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Thursday...February 4th...2010

Today is moving day...with sons Jim and Jeff, we are going to "marathon" it and move it all today....and then finish the opdds and ends tomorrow and cleaning on Saturday with Wendy, Chris, Tyson and Janine....

Linda is still staying about the same....limited physically......so we have to "hold her back" today as she will jump on the move and burn herself out early.....she is still struggling with the shingles as well...she promises to follow up with her doctor today. Tomorrow friend Deb is coming out to pick her up and take her to chemo and the ostomy clinic.....

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Tuesday....February 2nd....2010

Packing...Packing....packing....one more day of packing....and then the moving begins!!!!!!

We are also setting up our motorhome to live in once we return from Florida towards the end of April.

Linda is still limited with what she can do...we think she is doing much better but she becomes fatigued very quickly....she has more chemo on Friday....

ps.....the pictures the other day were taken 3 years into our marriage.....'83.....