Quite a day today.....we met with the Palliative Doctor...(Palliative care: Medical or comfort care that reduces the severity of a disease or slows its progress rather than providing a cure)...Linda had met with him a while back but was in a much better condition...this time she felt she needed help....she wanted to know why she felt the way she did...and was part of her feeling due to the chemo or the cancer...and why was she so depressed....
The Doctor was very helpful....after talking and listening to Linda....first he explained that she was not depressed but rather grieving...that grieving is a natural process for where she is at in her journey through cancer...that it is a process that comes with the knowledge that one will lose their life because of the cancer...it is inevitable...he advised her to be with the grieving..not to reject it or shove it away...with this there will come a sense of acceptance....
The Doctor said it was the chemo that was making her feel the way she does...the fatigue...and other side effects..not the cancer....he is putting her on steroids daily to help her with the fatigue and other symptoms...
He emphasized that she has done nothing wrong..she has been a model patient through this journey...she has done her part...and there is no blame...
There was more but the time was well spent...and Linda appears to be comforted by the visit....as we talked with the Doctor, Christmas is a special time for Linda..always has..and to know that this will be her last Christmas is hard on her...and to feel the way she does...and to move to the Portland area believing there was greater hope and to find that there would be one failure in treatment after another. but again, it was the risk we took...and we are in acceptance of what has occurred.
What now?
Linda is a strong person...with an incredible religious belief system..so she is comforted by that. She can accept things that others would/could not....so as the Doctor said..focus on the time you have...which is/has been one of Linda's goals throughout this journey...
We are surrounding her with friends and relatives ...baking...visiting... decorating..etc. We will continue to do so recognizing she needs rest time each day...
What can you do? Pray... encourage her...support her....nurture her....laugh with her...cry with her.
What we ask you not do...please do not call and ask her what happened that day at the Doctors or...or...that costs too much energy for one person's benefit...call to encourage..to support..not to gain information...read the Blog....for that...
Don't offer cancer remedies that involve anything in any way..it is counter productive..besides, we have heard them all..or enough that we wish not to hear more...we know the neighbor's brother's dentist's dog's groomer's mother was cured of a cancerous brain tumor...you get the picture..offering false hope is not reasonable nor wanted...
Stop by....don't wait and then regret....say what you want to say..Linda loves people who are current and honest in their communication...she has done enough personal growth work as a participant and in a support role to recognize when friends/relatives are doing less than that...you can't fool her..she is a very wise insightful woman...
I've said about enough..you get the picture...Linda is an incredible woman...she didn't deserve this..nor the other sad times in her life..she is one in a million (or billion)....and having said that...It is what it is.
Thank You for listening and your support and involvement..we are all part of Linda Wood's journey....
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
15 comments:
I Love you I Love you I Love you.
Dave, you could not be any more eloquent in your post today. I have always admired your ability to access a situation and address it with a sense of logic and precision. You help us here in the Peanut Gallery to direct our well-intentioned energy in the most productive way. With that in mind, across the miles I send to both you and Linda a huge virtual package of holiday joy. We often raise our expectations during the holiday season. The two of you are teaching me what it is really all about. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Marilyn
Thank you David Wood - you are the the kindest spokeperson for all of us and for your darling wife.
We know you and Linda have shared this experience 100% as you have shared your lives since you met 30+ years ago.
We love you both and wish you one day at a time of a blessed holiday.
A warm hug and much love,
Mary
Do not be afraid of tomorrow; for God is already there. ~Author Unknown
Heaven is under our feet, as well as over our heads. ~Henry David Thoreau
Courage is the power to let go of the familiar. ~Raymond Lindquist
Wrapping you ever so easily in the golden glow of healing light and love and peace and energy. May this golden glow help you find your way through these uncharted waters.
Susie
Dagve, you are awesome. What you said about Linda is sooooooo true. She is amazing lady. When I was packing that statue of "The Amazing Lady" I thought how true that is of Linda. Always using her God gifted talents on everyone around her. Everyone who has ever been in contact with Linda will agree. Linda, are you listening? We love you and soooooo proud of You.
Love and hugs,
Janet and Ken
Hey, Dave, I just realized I gave you a new name. Heck, I can't even pronouce
it. Laugh of the Day.
Love, Janet
Linda and Dave- I sit here and cry. Linda and Dave you are amazing people and we can only hope to be the kind of people you are and have been in our lifetime!! I look up to your strength, you devotion to each other and to everyone else. You are two amazing people and I send so much love and holiday cheer your way. This will be a special time for you. Love you both! Lindy Jason and Family
Hi Dave and Linda:
You two are so blessed to have such a loving relationship. It isn't fair when life is cut short by disease, an accident, etc. but you two have to be proud and pleased that you have enjoyed more love, fun, blessings, etc. than most people who live to be 100. I am sending prayers and hugs. Love, JO
Aunt Linda - You know you've always been my strong woman/mother role model. I love you dearly and I thank you for being such a loving person in my life. I can't imagine not having had your imprint on my soul. Thank you. xoxo
Love, Jen
Dave and Linda,
That was quite an entry on the blog Dave. You two are the most loving and caring people. You are
an inspiration to all of us in the peanut gallery. Thank
you for inviting us to the 30th anniversary party, we wouldn't have missed for the world. We plan on seeing you soon as Dad is
able to ride in the car. His back surgery went very well and he is now pain free! Enjoy your baking and decorating Miss Linda and don't forget to rest some too! Love you to both.
Joe, Jim, Nancy and Gene
Linda & Dave;
When I look back on all the travel and activities that the two of you have done just in the last few years, I am reminded of this quote from Abraham Lincoln:
(And, in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.)
Skip and I treasured Abe's quote and also Psalm 29:11:
(The Lord gives strength to His people...the Lord blesses His people with peace.)
Love & prayers,
Ruth Ann
I'm sitting here, sobbing. But, in a sense, I'm relieved, because I feel like I can finally say the kinds of things I've wanted to say for some time now. I haven't posted much lately, because I just didn't have that many positive, uplifting things to say. I knew you were coming to this point, but I had to wait for you to say it, before I could say it.
I love you both so very much. I hate, despise the fact that you are being forced to deal with such a sad and difficult situation. I went through this time with my mom and I understand what you two are dealing with.
Just the other day, my dad and I went to Disneyland. We stood on Main Street that evening, as they lit Sleeping Beauty's Castle with it's holiday "icicles". I didn't realize it was going to "snow" on Main Street when they did that. The second the snow started, I burst into tears. I'd avoided that "snow" for six holiday seasons. I felt the need to explain to my dad whey I was crying so hard. Watching it "snow" on Main Street was the last thing mom and I did together outside the house, just weeks before she died. We shared so much at Disneyland and it was so hard for me to remember that last moment. It encapsulated all that I have lost by losing my mom.
I don't want Dave or your kids to have to face that kind of sadness. But, this is part of life for all of us. Linda, you will come to terms with the end of life, but I cannot begin to imagine what the journey is like for you. My thoughts will be with you constantly for peace and acceptance. Dave, you have much sorrow to face, but you too will come to terms with this.
Both of you, please remember that you have innumerable friends holding you always in our thoughts and hearts. Thank you for letting us all share in your journey. I hope the love so many people in this world have for you, which you have fostered by simply being yourselves, will guide you and bring you comfort.
My love to you both, now and always.
I will say once again, "Thank You" I met you both on a short flight from Tampa to Missouri (your lay over while going home!) I dont know if you really know how much you both touch me....I have followed your blog every since that day.You have taught me to live life TODAY not tomorrow! Thank You!! Linda, you and I both share the same birthday, I will remember to wish you a happy birthday every birthday until we meet again :) We will all meet again someday, in a much better place.May your Holidays be filled with family,love and friends.Thank you again, you both are two very special people. Kay Hoffland
Incredibly poignant . . . our best thoughts are with you.
John and Sandy Kohlmoos
Dear Linda and Dave,
I haven't had a chance to read the blog lately, but Maureen has kept me posted about the fun slumber party. Your courage throughout your life has been a constant inspiration Linda. You have blessed my life with your laughter, positive attitude and ability to do anything. You are truly amazing! I hope to get over to see you soon. Dave you are an incredible man. I am so glad you are walking with Linda through this journey!
Love to you both.
Kathy
Post a Comment